8 Dating Struggles Faced by Travelers

If you travel extensively, and for long enough, you’re bound to break into the dating scene in some form or another. These are just a few of the struggles I’ve experienced or witnessed in my travels so far:

8 – “Summer Lovin’ – Happened So” – NOPE! 

Squad - the main reason my summer was great - bonds worth keeping for life!

So you’re somewhere new for the summer, it could be summer camp, an internship, a long vacay, or ::cough:: an intensive language program ::cough:: it’s bound to cross your mind eventually… the summer love… something you see in bad teen movies all the time, something that secretly you’ve wanted since you were in middle school… So you find yourself somewhere different. Somewhere that no one knows you – the PERFECT opportunity to recreate yourself! You dress a bit nicer, care a bit more about your appearance, try out different personality traits, or tone down on some… sure enough within a week everyone starts pairing off… except you… You are the cheese. You stand alone. You watch your friends catch feelings while you awkwardly sit around as the 3rd wheel, wondering when it will finally be your turn... This summer was the 1^st time that I didn’t have that issue. Why? Because I found a squad of fierce bitches who didn’t have time or energy for all the drama that comes with summer flings for a change. The prior 2 summers were like a Soap Opera... Seriously, you can't write the kind of stuff that happened... I'm glad there wasn't a season 3... I felt far better about myself this summer than I did the past 2. Yes, I’m happy to see my friends happy when things are going well in their flings, but I also feel lonely, left out, unwanted. This year, probably for the 1^st time ever, I never felt like I was left out, or inviting myself to go along somewhere. Squad wanted me there as much as I wanted to be with them. Squad reunion someday will be epic… provided we can remember any of it.

7 – Language Barriers. 

Ain’t they a bitch? Like at first you think “ooh… we don’t need to talk, we’ll let the chemistry, and our bodies do all the talking” but eventually you realize that without the ability to have a proper conversation with this person, the chemistry doesn’t really flow, and body language can’t make up for that entirely… especially if they don’t really have the kind of moves to get you going, and you can’t give them much guidance, because you know… neither of you know the proper vocabulary in the other’s language… He may be straight gorgey on tinder, but when he can’t say more than 5 words to you in a language you understand, and he’s not a smooth operator, those 6 pack abs just can’t make up for it. And that’s a shame. It won’t stop you from trying now and then, but you’ll just remember this point every time and wonder why you thought this time would be any different.

6 – Cultural Differences That Just Can’t Be Overcome. 

Ay me! Such ill fated timing! My love! My life! My stranger!

You meet someone, and they’re great. You’re having fun, you think about what life could be like if things lasted a while, then you start to realize that there are things about their culture that you cannot grow accustomed to, and if things were to work out, you would hate having to deal with. Some examples: serious impatience, or over-eagerness to meet... men who believe that fathers should play no role in parenting, men who are total momma’s boys – you’re never gonna be good enough in momma’s eyes… Premarital sex – you’re okay with it, he says he’s okay with it, then he sends you on a guilt trip for tempting him so much… of course, it's hard to find a place to even have sex, since chances are, he still lives at home, because you know, that's normal until he starts his own family, and even then, the in-laws may still live with you! Household roles again – you like to cook, but it’s not solely YOUR job, same with cleaning and raising of the babies… Speaking of babies – aren't you a little old to not be married and have children? And well marriage – just because you’ve been nice to a man, he goes straight to the marriage line of thought, because why else would a woman be nice to a man? She MUST want him. She MUST love him. Slow ya roll bro… we’ve only chatted on Couchsurfing/met once, stop acting like we are fated to be together.

5 – Hostel Life. 

Nothing says business time like pink bunkbeds! ;-)

You’ve grown to not care that you’re sleeping in the same room as 7 dudes on a regular basis. When it starts to smell you just open a window, and you’ve seen more man panties than you’ve ever wanted to, but it’s the norm now. Whatever. However, when you do meet someone, you can’t take them back to yours - there are 7 other dudes in there! What’s worse? When he’s a traveler too… because he can’t take you back to his either. Some people don’t mind bunkbed sex, but if you’re sticking around a bit longer than a few days, that could lead to some awkward encounters in the common room… Sometimes you get lucky and meet the person you’re attracted to at your hostel, which is great – you’re both already home – but where can you go to fool around? Try that hallway, or that dark corner – nope not as dark as you thought, uhhh… see if someone’s room is empty or if one of you have a bed hidden away enough so if you’re really quiet… nope – beds are in the open and the rooms are full of people shit… uhhh… elevator? No… people are gonna want to use that… bathroom! YEAH! BATHROOM! How romantic?! While sneaking around can be a ton of fun, it gets really frustrating if you’ve somehow started developing feelings for each other in such a short period of time, and literally just want to BE together. Just the 2 of you. What options do you really have? Try to find a last minute hotel room and both of you end up paying for 2 places to stay that night? Pay outrageous prices to get upgraded to a private room at your hostel, if one is even available? Maybe you’ll get lucky and the person working the front desk can put the 2 of you into a room that’s not occupied for some reason (beware of that one… there’s probably a reason no one’s been placed in that room yet ie. bedbugs). Sometimes it’s totally worth it, but still frustrating, and you waste more time trying to figure out how to be alone together, than you actually get to enjoy spending alone together.

4 – It’s Over Before It Even Had A Chance.

A magical view, made even more special because of the company kept...

Being a traveler implies just that – Travel. You never intend to stay in one place long enough to actually have a proper relationship. While you’ve gotten used to just enjoying life and being happy when you can, the person who will inevitably be left behind may not be able to bring themselves to live by the same mantra. They see this as going nowhere from the start, while you see it as potential for an incredibly happy time period full of amazing memories with someone who you will always hold dear, in a place that now seems magical. You’ve grown to see the beauty in something short term and intense… they, on the other hand, are actually looking for something more long term. Or, they don’t want something serious or long term at all when it starts, but the more time they spend around you, they can’t deny how awesome you are, and can’t keep it casual. You tell them when you meet that you’re here for a few weeks, or even a few months, and once what they thought would just be casual fun starts to turn into something more – they run. They shut it down. Why? Because they’ve foreseen that this isn’t going to work. They know they can’t convince you to stay, and they don’t want to be the one hurt at the end of everything.

3 – One Of You Catches Feelings.

Forever a reminder of the night I met my hardest goodbye. (cue bittersweet smile)

You’re gonna feel like a jerk if it’s not you. Occasionally, realizing that someone may be getting attached will open you up to having serious feelings as well, which creates another mess on its own. Sometimes, you’re the one who catches the feelings, and it’s wonderful, then suddenly terrible when you realize that only 1 of you caught them. If both parties aren’t on board the feeling train, someone is going to get hurt, no matter what. This is where we learn that open, honest, communication is absolutely necessary at all times, even if it feels awkward or out of place. We learn that we need to talk about these things, so everyone is on the same page.

2 – The Sad Goodbye.

Even if you both knew that it could only be a short term fling, and you don’t regret a second of it, and every minute you spent together was perfect and beautiful – at some point, somewhere inside, that goodbye is going to be sad. You may not cry, because you see the beauty in the whole thing, but damn, you’re gonna miss him. You’re gonna walk by all the places where you stopped for a kiss and smile, and hope that you can find someone like that again. Should you have developed feelings (even if you’re the only party to do so)… well… I’m so sorry… that goodbye is going to be more messy than you ever imagined. I’m talking ugly crying in public. A people stopping to ask if you’re okay – level of ugly crying. Be prepared. Bring tissues, or risk covering your favorite shirt in tears and snot and mascara.

At least we'll always have each other <3

1 – It’s All About Me!

I am NOT going to date anyone – you fully intend for this trip/country/city/leg of your adventure to be all about you. To get your thoughts together. To get your life on track. To experience things for YOU. Then SHIT – who is this striking up a conversation with me? It would be rude if I didn’t try to enjoy the conversation… And all of that goes out the window in favor of just being happy. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes the goodbye is bittersweet and beautiful, sometimes you end up more hurt than you’ve ever been, and your life is in more of a mess than it was before you left. Your intentions were good. Kudos to you for not actively looking for someone to spend time/fool around with. And bravo for being open to the opportunity to love and be happy. Don’t regret it. Don’t regret any of it. You can have your alone time some other time. This experience is helping you to grow, and to realize what it is you want in life.

I’m sure I’ll meet people who have had more struggles for me to add to this list, and there are certainly far more struggles in store for me in the future. But, with every experience comes a bit more wisdom, or at least another story to tell...

9 Months Later...

A lot can happen in 9 months... we all know that a new life can be brought into this world in just 9 months, and how much that little life grows and changes the lives of those around it in 9 months, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to recap some of the most important things that I've learned in 9 months on the run...

Churchkhela, aka Georgian Snickers

9 - Sugar and spice and everything nice is bullshit.

You know how we, as girls, always are taught to be nice? That's bullshit. Stop being nice. You just need to say no. A good stern no will do you wonders. You don't have to deal with people bothering you to buy things or go places. You especially don't have to put up with sexual harassment. Stop trying to be subtle to get men to stop bothering you. Just tell them no. Most often, their pride will be so hurt that they just walk away with their tail tucked between their legs. Making up a boyfriend or husband that you're on your way to see won't work. (Believe me, I've tried.) Just honestly telling the guy that you have to go, because you're meeting friends won't work either. Just tell them no, you don't want to talk. If they touch you - make a fucking scene. If another foreigner sees this scene, and can tell that you are also a foreigner, guess what? They WILL intervene. Hopefully it wouldn't get to that point though. Again, the whole pride thing... if you start yelling in a language that they don't understand, or even in their native tongue, they will often be so embarrassed that they'll walk away and hope no one noticed. This works back home as well - girls, you know how we always watch out for each other and "save" each other from creepers when we're at the club? There's no reason we should have to swoop in and rescue each other. Just give the creeper a good stern no. How will he learn otherwise? I've begun to rant... anyway, the moral of the story is to just say no.

Prague wouldn't have been so hard to leave if not for these fantastic strangers

8 - "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers." 

Blanche DuBois (A Streetcar Named Desire for you non theatre nerds) wasn't entirely naive, or crazy. When you get to traveling, especially alone, you start to realize that the world isn't entirely made up of terrible, evil, people who are out to hurt you. Here's my most recent example - When I got on the bus from the airport in Tbilisi, it was 7am. I had been at the airport since 4am. I had been traveling for a good 12 hours at that point. I was dazed, and travel tired. I didn't even have a low enough denomination of lari to pay for the bus ride. I could barely even speak Russian at that point. Out of nowhere, someone pays the 50 tetri (half of 1 lari, $.21) for my bus ride, helps me settle in with my bags at the back of the bus and asks where I need to get off, so he can help me. He could have just told me where my stop is. Nope. He went above and beyond that. While I was worried he meant that he was going to help me carry my bags all the way to my hostel (which seemed like a terrible idea), he just helped me get my bags off the bus, and wished me well. He got off the bus long before his stop just to help. Did it make my day? You bet. Did it make his day? I think so, judging by the smile he had on his face the whole time. Should you still be a little wary of strangers? Yes. Should you use your best judgement, and also accept their generous help? Heck yes! Remember how when we were little, we were always taught not to talk to strangers? That goes out the window when you grow up, especially when you travel extensively. Every friend, every partner in crime, every lover, every adventure buddy, every love - was once a stranger. Strangers can make life so much better, if you let them.

Oh Istanbul... Who wouldn't love this place? This country? It's simply magical...

7 - You're more brave than you think.

On the night that I left him, someone dear to me told me that he thought I was brave for what I've been doing. I laughed it off, because to me, this isn't brave. Brave would be staying in one place, getting a steady job, and facing my responsibilities. Running is cowardice. Yet, the thought of staying in one place for more than 3 months terrifies me. That's because this life has changed me. You're especially more brave if you grow to love similar places to those that I have. You know how often I've had people message me, out of nowhere, worried about me because of something they saw on the news? More times than I'd like to count. Does that scare me? No. There was terrorist activity while I was in Bishkek, did I ever feel in danger? No. There was a terrorist attack in Istanbul just before I went back there - concerned? No. The attacks in Ankara, the rioting on the streets in Istanbul, the tension filled elections, the situation between Russia and Turkey while I lived behind the Russian consulate - fear? No. It's exciting, and painful at the same time. I booked my flight to Paris shortly before the terror attacks in Paris, my family freaked out - my reaction - Why aren't more people concerned about what happened in Ankara? Where are all the Turkish flags on peoples profiles? WHY ARE YOU NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE REST OF THE WORLD!? - And yes, I judged every single person on my feed who had a French flag over their profile picture, with the exception of my friends who have significant ties to France (aka, those living or who have lived there). My reaction to the terror attack in Istanbul? - Why am I not there to be with the people I love, in the city I love, when such a thing has happened? - When you begin to love another culture this strongly, you care less about your well being and more for your desire to be back where you feel such a strong connection. I've been thinking this latest exile is a great opportunity for me to travel Turkey by land - am I afraid to go to Ankara? To Gaziantep? To Izmir? No. I want to experience that beautiful country while I have the opportunity. Is this carelessness? Recklessness? Perhaps. Love? Bravery? Certainly.

Did you really think I sat alone and had 2 litres of beer at Hoffbrauhaus? 

6 - Push yourself out of your comfort zone.

This doesn't just go for the countries that you travel to, it goes for your actions in each of them. Most people don't think I'm shy, or reserved, or conservative, but SURPRISE! I am. So, when it comes to either asking someone if they would like to grab dinner with me, or going alone - I'd usually chose to go alone. When the opportunity arises - push yourself to ask someone to do something, or ask if you can tag along. What's the worst that could happen? You feel unwelcome around the people that you went with? Who's fault is that? Chances are - not yours. Sometimes, just asking someone who's sitting alone at a table if you can join them, leads to you making a new friend, a ridiculous adventure, or at least having great company for the night. You know what it doesn't lead to? Regrets.

Shenanigans captured in the moment, to remember, forever.

5 - Take selfies shamelessly. 

Take photos of yourself, and whether they like it or not, take them with your friends. Take them often. Take them when you look your worst. When you look your best. Take them when you're goofing around - when you're serious - just take them. So what if you never post them to social media? Or if you do, who cares if people are seeing too much of your beautiful face? You don't want to find yourself wishing one day that you could see the faces of your friends together with your own just one more time. Whether you look glamorous or frumpy - you'll want to see yourselves together. You may not realize it when you should be taking them, but you'll want to look back at those times one day, especially when you're happy. Look back. Remember the love. Smile.

Just maybe only say yes to absinthe once... per night...

4 - Just say yes.

Sometimes you'll feel like curling up with some Netflix, or a book, and not want to talk to anyone. You'll be in such a foul mood that just hearing other people talk will make you want to punch things, or you'll be so sad that all you want to do is cry... but if someone invites you somewhere, just say yes. That concert, or party, or dinner that the stranger at your hostel invited you out to, can lead to a new friendship. They could be going through the same thing you are, or already have gone through it, and have some insight to help you. Or, you could just have a blast. Say yes. More often than not, saying yes has led to wonderful things.

Beer with a sunset view... alone. Perfection.

3 - Treat yo'self.

Learning how to date yourself is one of the best things you'll ever do. It doesn't matter if you're travelling alone, living alone, or just trying to grow the f up. If you can't enjoy being with yourself, dating yourself, how can you expect someone else to do it? Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good, a manicure, a massage, a nice dinner, an art show, whatever. Every now and then, take yourself out on a date. You'll feel better about yourself. You'll feel more comfortable with yourself. And you know what? Other people will be drawn to that. So many men can't believe it when I tell them I went to the movies alone, or took myself to a romantic restaurant alone. They're intrigued, and yes, a little intimidated, but more fascinated with a woman who can love herself enough not to wait for a man to take her out on such dates. But that's not the most important aspect of this - the most important part is that you realize these things - that you are comfortable with yourself. You aren't afraid to take matters into your own hands, and to do things on your own. You'll be more proud of yourself than anyone else could be.

How many people have learned how to build a yurt?

2 - Your experiences are anything but ordinary. 

With extensive travel comes comfort in the most uncomfortable of situations. Comfort leads to a sense of the mundane... Remember, what you have seen and done is extraordinary. Most people you meet in your life will not ever go to the same places you have, see the same things, meet the same array of people. Chances are, they'll never leave their comfort zone. Your experiences are not ordinary. You'll also meet people who are far more traveled than you, and who you think are far more cultured than you, or have had a much more interesting journey than you, and that may incite some jealousy. I'm guilty of it. Some of my best friends, and partners in crime in my travels, make me so jealous of them to the point of getting upset with them, but I need to remember that their travels are not my travels. We all have had different experiences. None of our travels are better than the other's. They are each unique.

Talk to a stranger. Say yes. Leave comfort zone. Love. Just love.

1 - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

The wise words of Nat King Cole's "Nature Boy"... It doesn't matter if it's the love of friends, a new host family, or romantic love - just love. Believe that you are worthy of being loved, and always keep yourself open to love. It comes at unexpected times, in unexpected places, but you won't experience that joy if you aren't open to it. You may have your heart broken several times, but when someone comes into your life who realizes how amazing you are, you'll be so happy not to have missed out because you kept yourself guarded. Love without reservation - without hesitation. Love like you've never been hurt. Love like there's no tomorrow. Love like it will last forever. Love because it's the only thing that can heal this world we live in. Love because a life without it isn't worth living. Love because with each heartbreak, you're one step closer to finding someone who will appreciate how quickly, and freely, you love.

Perhaps the best view of Istanbul that you can get - from the top of Galata tower at sunset. Again... simply magical.

So... There you have it, 9 months later... I've learned a lot. I've experienced so much more growth than I would have if I had stayed in the US. I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot of heartache to go through. But I also still have a lot of strangers to meet, people and cultures to open my heart to, adventures to have, and memories to make. Here's to the most challenging, and wonder filled 9 months of my life. And here's to many, many more.

A hidden little gem of a waterfall in the old town of Tbilisi

Homesick

So... I'm pretty sure my lost Bishkek Day 4 musings involved cooking class (don't worry - I'll be posting photos and recipes), and a whole lot about homesickness...

Cheap, tasty, sushi... could we get more basic?

It's a funny thing, homesickness... They say that you stop being homesick for a place you've traveled once you've been back in your normal life for just as long as you were gone. That's a lie. A bunch of crap. I was missing Batumi for far longer than 2 months once I returned to Tallahassee. In fact, even 2 weeks into my time in Bishkek, I was writing to my host sister from Batumi, and one of my teachers, telling them both that I miss them and wished I had participated in a different program and gone back there instead. I know things will be different when I go back there. I won't have my friends with me, and who knows how much the city itself will have changed, but I'm still excited to see my host family again soon.

Cheap tasty margis? Yes please!

When I left Bishkek for Istanbul, I was incredibly excited to go back to a city that I felt I still needed to explore, and though I was scared to travel alone, I was excited about it too. For months though, all of my stories involved Bishkek. One of the friends I made at my hostel in Istanbul even noted that I was living in the past. None of my stories at that point in time were about the city I was living in then. I never would have expected to get homesick for Bishkek, but I suppose I did. That family I had trouble getting used to, that little twerp who forced his way into my heart, the food, the dust, the overall rachet-ness of living in a 2nd world country... I missed it. I still miss it.

Then Istanbul, regardless all of the frustrations I had living there, and the relatively few friends I made there, found its way into my heart. For over a month, I literally was counting down the days until I could return. All I could talk about while traveling in France, Belgium, and Germany, was my time in Istanbul. Hearing Turkish spoken on the streets of Germany made me feel more comfortable. When I felt lonely, I'd go to a Turkish restaurant to have some comfort food, and practice my Turkish...

Tvorog and Borjomi - odd comfort foods

Then I got to Prague... I can't believe how quickly I fell in love with the city. Czech food is fantastic, the beer is good, and cheap, and the architecture... you can walk around the city for days and just stare at it... Despite all of the bad things that happened while I was there, some wonderful things happened. I met some truly amazing people. Those people are why I miss Prague so dearly. I spent 7 weeks there, and made more friends worth keeping in my last 3 weeks than I did in 3 months of living in Istanbul. I'm sure in a few weeks, I won't be missing Prague anymore... at least not nearly as strongly as I miss it right now... I've never ugly cried when leaving a city or a person before. I've made some big moves in my life, and said a lot of good-byes, but this is the first time I've ever cried like that... someone even told me that there's a sadness in my eyes when I speak of Prague... I just want to be sure that I miss it for the right reasons... and if I go back, that it will only be for the right reasons as well...

Tbilisi so far is also full of kind people who will make it hard to leave. The people who work at my hostel are incredibly kind. Some invited me out on my 1st night, which helped to start forgetting Prague... especially because I was in the middle of a fight with someone I left behind... I've been sick the past few days though, so I haven't been able to meet very many people yet. Even being sick, the hostel staff keep checking to see if I'm feeling any better, and our cleaning lady is like our own Georgian mom. She heard me coughing and sleeping at 7pm the other night and handed me a thermometer and come cold medicine, then said if I have a fever she's going to take me to the doctor. That's Georgian hospitality for you. She barely knows me, didn't know I could speak Russian until I thanked her in Russian, and she just wants to make sure I'm healthy and enjoying her city. I've only taken one relatively short walk around the city because of this cold, but there's a familiar rachet-ness to it. The smell of shashlik on the grill, the sounds, the mess of traffic that you can only cross with luck and the grace of God... the wine, the limonad, the fresh baked bread everywhere. I know I'll miss Georgia when I leave here again... at least when I leave here, it will be because I've found another place I want to go, rather than visa limitations forcing me into a sort of exile.

Burger House - a hangover tradition... also the best burger I've had in a while!

Cures and triggers for homesickness are pretty varied, and unfortunately, unpredictable. As soon as I got back to the US from Georgia, I went to a Georgian restaurant in NYC to show my friends some of the wonderful food I'd been spoiled with for the summer. Then I took to cooking the meal my host mom taught me how to make on a very regular basis, just to bring a little bit of Georgia into my life. In Bishkek, I was comforted by purchasing the same shampoo I used in Batumi. That familiar smell in my hair helped calm my nerves every night before bed. I managed to find Borjomi, Georgian mineral water, which I wasn't a big fan of while I lived in Batumi, but which brought great comfort to me when I'd have an upset stomach. A good burger, from Burger House - which is better than most burgers I've ever had - was always our hangover cure, and the best way we could think to celebrate Independence day. Once I got wifi, I was able to watch all of my favorite terrible TV shows, which was bad for my productivity levels, but good for making me feel more at home. The day we found cheap margaritas and tasty sushi in Bishkek, was like a sigh of relief. As long as we had those two items, we could survive, right?

Proper Southern BBQ in Prague... entirely too comforting...

It's the little things that can bring you the most comfort... In Istanbul, I lived off of plov, eggplant stew and eggplant sandwiches for the most part - all meals I learned from my host moms. Here in Tbilisi, I've been making tvorog for breakfast - one of my favorite discoveries while in Bishkek. Not because I'm missing Bishkek, but because I've got yet another cold. Having something that made me happy there, helps me feel a little better here. In Prague, it was some good ole Southern BBQ and American accents at Expat's BBQ that gave me the most comfort when everything had gone wrong in so many ways. Even though I showed up alone, I never had to feel alone there. I didn't have to feel quite so far away from the people I love when I needed to be with them most. It's those little tastes of home that can help get you through the worst setbacks on the road. Another big help - having a good mobile carrier. You won't believe what I'm about to say, but truly, for an American traveler, T-Mobile is the best. Why? Because it's cheap, you don't need a contract, and in most countries you'd want to go to, international data and texts are included, making the people you miss most no more than a text message away.

Notice any omissions from the list of places I've been homesick for? Probably the one that most people would miss first... home. I may miss my friends on occasion, and my Goddaughter immensely, but home? Nope. Again... I don't have a home. Home is where my bags are, so right now, my home is Tbilisi. As much as I'd like to go back to Prague... I know that it won't be the same if I go back... It could be better... It could be worse... We'll see if I get drawn back there... right now, I'm having a hard time believing that I can't see some of my friends again for a minimum of 3 months. My exile from Turkey ended on the 8th... perhaps I'll end up back there, or perhaps I'll head on to the next adventure. While in Germany I was asked "What are you running away from?" I don't feel like I'm running away anymore. I'm just waiting to find something to run towards.

Bet you never thought I'd miss this twerp! Neither did I... :-/ <3

Bishkek - Day 3

Okay... I'm sorry for slacking on getting a new post ready after replacing my computer... things have been incredibly rough for me since that happened, for various reasons... when it rains it pours, right? Anyway, there was a lot more data on my stolen computer that hadn't been backed up than I thought... including Bishkek Day 4, a lot of my edited photos, and all of my audio files which contained so many important and nostalgic sounds I wanted to share with you, to help you really get a glimpse of this crazy life I've been living. Regrets. I have them. But, that leads to more lessons I can pass on to you so you hopefully won't suffer through the same losses and frustration that I have had to deal with on these adventures. Always lock your shit up. Always. So, here's my last stream of consciousness post for my time in Bishkek...

Bishkek Day 3: June 23, 2015

Here goes showing y’all how much of an emotional roller coaster something like this is. Today wasn’t bad at all. Today was, dare I say, comfortable-ish? Now I just have to keep from crying myself to sleep tonight, and I’ll be progressing a lot faster than I thought I would have a few days ago. At least y’all are benefiting from my lack of internet at home, because I’ve been spending a good hour or two at the end of the night to recap the day for you. Or maybe you don’t like the longer posts and wish I’d just cut to the interesting stuff, well tuff. That’s another thing about living so far away from the city, I can’t stay out with my friends until 11pm every night, get distracted by a certain someone and then pass out before taking the time to write. The longer I go without internet and have limited opportunity to connect with anyone, the more I start thinking that maybe what I really need is to persevere and grow on my own, like I do with everything else. I just wish I had remembered to download new music before I left… there are way too many songs on my computer that stir up stupid emotions in my tiny broken Slavic heart. Yea, I know last year I was writing about a broken heart too, and just like that one, there are a lot of factors contributing to it. I don’t know how you people do this crap. I’ll adjust to Bishkek and eventually start liking it here a whole lot faster than I can get over being so stupid as to open this tiny Slavic heart to someone who never deserved it. In Russian – моё сердце разбыто – quite literally, shattered. Yeah, we don’t do subtle in this language. Он разбыл моё сердце и я ненавижу его из-за этого...

So… back to the comfortable-ish… well… thank God my neighbor has taken me on like a niece, because I didn’t pay attention to what today’s schedule was supposed to be, and I was prepared to get to school at 9am… classes start at 8:30am this year… oops… good thing Racha, the girl placed next door, pays attention and told her host family the proper time, so needless to say, I hauled ass out of the house without eating breakfast, putting on makeup, or even brushing my hair. My neighbor drove us to school this morning, which was really nice of him to do. I was placed in the 4^th year course, as expected, and I really like my classmates so far. We’re having a good time in class, and getting to know each other too. We’ve got two 50min grammar classes followed by a 65min reading class (really thinking that teacher doesn’t like me & Masha though), and then finally a 50min speaking portion, which was surprisingly fun. At 1pm we were free to go for the day.

Delicious eggplant salad... I can hardly believe I used to hate it!

Masha and I clarified what our schedule would be for Wednesday, and asked about the password to the website for our homework, then headed down the street to the Vefa center for lunch (It’s a small mall). The password wasn’t sent out yet as of 8pm, not that it would matter for me, since I still don’t have wifi at home… this will be my number 1 complaint about the program this year. If you’re going to have online homework, you need to make sure that host families are equipped with wifi, especially when we live so far away from the city. I can’t stay at school or at a local café until 8pm just to do homework if there’s a lot. I actually don’t have to be at school until 2pm tomorrow, but I’m gonna get there at 9:30am so I can do the homework that’s due Thursday, or at least get it started. I also plan to buy a wifi router tomorrow as well. Yep… that’s about a $100 expense that I wasn’t expecting. I know my host family is fine with me using their computer, but I don’t want to hog it, when that’s the primary source of entertainment for the kids in the evening and when it’s raining, like it was today.

We drink beer from crazy straws, because we're ladies.

Aaaanyway… For lunch we tried eggplant salad because it reminded me of one of my favorite Georgian dishes when I looked at the picture, and Lagmancun because that looked good too. We split those and ordered 2 beers… guess how much it cost? Go on, guess… I’ll wait…

About $7.40… our fancy coffees afterwards cost about the same too.

So, around 4:30ish, I headed back to the school to see if Racha was ready to head home, because she said her host dad would pick us up from school. Minor miscommunication, and my host mom (or well I feel like I should start calling her my hostess, because she’s actually closer in age to me than any of my actual sisters are) came to get us. She took us to look into the whole router situation and help us decide what we need, but turns out they need the original of my passport for it. She put our address in my phone in case I ever need to take a taxi, and tried to teach me what stop is ours on the Marshrutka. (It’s the name of the school that’s nearby, or apparently I can just say остановите в школу and that should work too. Guess I’ll find out tomorrow!) Then I just tried to study some of the new vocab before dinner.

Lagmancun... yes it's Turkish and not Kyrgyz... who cares?

Tonight dinner was reminiscent of some of the food I had in Georgia, simple pan fried potatoes with meat, sliced tomatoes, bread and of course tea (like 3 bowls). I’ve been a bit intimidated by the bread, because we were told that it’s pretty much sacred around here, so if you start eating a piece, you should really finish it, and if you waste it, it’s an insult. Also, it turns out that Mash also has a traditional Kyrgyz family, they just haven’t started cooking and eating in the outdoor area yet. She called me today to tell me that they tried to get her to drink some mare’s milk, but she couldn’t do it because of the smell lol… I’m sure y’all can’t wait until I start writing about that! It’s already getting easier for me to hold conversations in Russian, and my hostess and I are doing some more bonding too. We’ve made plans to take a walk around the neighborhood tomorrow after dinner.

The cultural aspect of the importance of family around here has already been brought up. That was important in Georgia too. Week 1, my host mom exclaimed that I was so old to not be married, which made me feel kinda terrible, but by the end of the program, she was offering to take me on walks down the Boulevard to find me a man, because OBVIOUSLY American men are idiots. Little by little my family and neighbors have pried into what my family life is like. 1^st night was asking how many siblings I have etc, last night they got to asking me if I was married or had a boyfriend, and tonight asking if it was normal to get married so late in America. I thought about making up a boyfriend, or trying to explain part of my broken heart to her, but instead chose to portray everything as normal, because it is normal for me. I don’t know why I don’t have a boyfriend, and I never thought I’d be my age and still be single, but that’s the hand I’ve been dealt, and in America it’s not completely terrible to have that hand either.

An array of Kyrgyz Som... believe me, it's not that much...

When it started to rain after dinner, we went inside and continued to chat and she asked me to teach her daughter a little English. I know I’m not supposed to, but I guess I really did enjoy teaching Russian… teaching English to some 8-9 year old Kyrgyz girls was quite a change for me… and maybe some good preparation/experience for the near future. I need to work on my vocabulary though if I want to explain things better. At least they just about had the alphabet down after an hour. I don’t like the book we were using though. I’ve noticed around here that people want to practice their English on you more than in Batumi. My host mom there rarely ever spoke in English, my sister who was fluent in English never spoke to me in it, my host brother tried to teach me Georgian (because I don’t think he spoke Russian) and my poor wee little sister rarely talked to me because she didn’t know a lot of English and even less Russian. Only once did I have someone who could speak Russian refuse to speak to me in Russian, and I am completely sympathetic as to why. He spoke to me in English, I spoke to him in Russian. Georgia has undergone its own cultural renaissance. I guess most former Soviet Republics have, but of the 2 I’ve spent an extended period of time in, Georgian patriotism/nationalism seems much stronger. They want to move towards the west, but are determined to keep their traditions and language, and that to an extent means keeping Russian around too. School children there learn English whether they go to Georgian school or Russian school. Maybe because you still have to go out of your way to learn English around here that people want to practice it more? I don’t mind all that much. I’m at a level where I don’t think it will make such a drastic difference to only be exposed to Russian. What I need is to work on including more Russian in conversations with my friends so I can have a good conversation about things that are more substantial than what I am used to talking about.

I’m thinking it’s time for me to pass out. I meant to be ready for bed by midnight so waking up at 7 wouldn’t suck… its almost 1, whoops… at least this means less time to be reminded of things before I fall asleep, and hopefully that will mean no crying tonight… that’ll be nice… 

End Day 3.

There was a much longer rant on language acquisition, but I decided to omit most of it to avoid boring the crap out of you, but there you go... the last of my stream of consciousness posts, because I'm an idiot... but here are some spoilers:

I didn't cry again my whole time in Bishkek. I persevered and grew on my own, as I always do, as I always will. I did adjust, and got comfortable in Bishkek before that broken heart healed. I have my closure now, and I can't believe I ever acted the way I did. I can't believe I ever let myself feel so hurt over something so stupid. Classes, and my classmates started to drive me crazy by the end of the 1st week, so much that I was ready to go home if something didn't change. Another thing about growing up - I learned to tell someone in charge that I wasn't satisfied with things, those things were changed, and I started enjoying class again, well except for the classmates driving me crazy part... the only thing that could remedy that would have been less time around them, which I could not get. I gave up trying to teach those adorable little girls because the book/English language just frustrated the crap out of me. Also, reading through this again, I realize I still haven't learned my lesson about opening my heart up to people who don't deserve it. I'm not so sure that's a bad thing either. Is it better to suffer the pain of heartbreak from putting yourself out on the line, or to keep yourself reserved and possibly miss out on something wonderful? Only time will tell.

Bishkek - Day 2

My dear readers,

It is with great sadness and frustration that I inform you that this will be my last post for the foreseeable future. My laptop was stolen, and it will be incredibly difficult to continue to present my adventures and photos to the world without it. I don't want to present you with anything that's half hearted - I'd rather present nothing to the world than something that isn't a quality I can look back on and approve of.

Right now, I am mostly hoping that I didn't lose too many photos and documents that were not backed up to cloud storage yet. My pride hurts. I'm determined not to let 1 bad memory ruin all of the good memories I've had here in Prague. However, I am now faced with the difficult decision of whether I can afford (and justify) replacing it. If so, how, and with what? Suggestions for what to get, and information on how to obtain an affordable replacement are very welcome. 

If you feel so inclined, donations to help ease the pain in my wallet, and budget for continuing this adventure, will also be graciously accepted via PayPal. (Kmt04@my.fsu.edu)

I will need the support and encouragement of you, dear readers, more than ever now. I can't help but think that this is a sign to give up on this entire travel writer endeavor. I hope to turn that sign around and create something even more fantastic in spite of it, though. 

In the meantime, I'll continue to post on other social media platforms, but just in case I do throw in the towel - I want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for reading. I hope I have been able to entertain you, as well as open your eyes and hearts to things you otherwise never would have considered. 

And now, I present you with what I hope won't be my last post...  

I know y'all have just been DYING to know how things went after my first day in Bishkek, right? Did I have a panic attack? Did I cry all day long? Did I get auctioned off as a bride to the highest bidder? You'll just have to keep reading to find out!

Bishkek Day 2: June 22, 2015

So far, adjusting seems a little easier than it did last year. Maybe that’s because I can read most of the signage around me. Kyrgyz is the national language, but Russian is the official state language, so most signs are written in both, and at least it resembles Russian a bit. Georgian is beautiful, but so completely different from any other language that I know, that there was no hope for me to decipher anything. I know if I stick it through, it should make me a better person, right? And if any of you judge me for starting out feeling like all I want to do is get the hell out of here, and then ending up loving it – why don’t you try to do something like this? You’ll see just how hard it is. It’s a freaking emotional roller-coaster, add on top of that (even more so than last year) the stress of having nothing to come back to when it’s all over, you’d be ready to cry yourself to sleep every night for a few weeks too.

It’s still hard to wrap my head around why anyone would want to visit here, at least not for 2 months… and certainly not for their last opportunity to go abroad for such an amount of time… but the view I finally got to see when walking to the bus stop today… that may just be a factor in it. When I finally looked up from the rough gravel road I was walking down with my neighbor's daughter, and another student who was placed with the family next door, I finally saw the mountain range ahead. Holy crap. They seem so massive. It’s hot as balls around here right now, but still gets cool at night, and those mountains are still covered in snow. I’m not talking about just the very tops of them, a good hunk of those mountains are still white. After seeing that, I’m beginning to think that some of our weekend excursions will finally make me really appreciate this place.

The Tien Shien Mountain range as it appears from Street No. 5 in the Рухий Мурас (Roohee Mooras) neighborhood of Bishkek.

Trying to get to school today was fun, for everyone apparently. Some people were dropped off by their host families. It seems they were able to place everyone in at least moderately well off families, and some in much better off families too. Most of us are out in those suburbs, I’m not sure if that’s supposed to make me feel safer or not… yes it’s harder to reach them, and most of the families out here have to be fairly well off to be able to afford to build a house out here, but the difficulty to get to & from school, and the main areas of the city leave me a bit wary. The possibility of going out one night does seem within reach at least. Cabs are cheap it shouldn’t cost more than $5 to get home from just about anywhere in the city.

Speaking of how cheap things are here… I took out 4,800 SOM today, that’s about $80USD… let’s see how far this goes… It’ll cost me 20 SOM per day for my marshrutka rides to & from school, 120/week to keep my local phone turned on, and lunch today, which I split with Masha, was a tasty  dish called Pide (I think it’s Turkish) and 2 bottles of water,  know how much that cost? 300SOM… ya know how much that is in USD? Less than $5… I told my host mom that today, and she said that was expensive, and suggested a cheaper place. Holy crap - it gets cheaper than that!? I wanted to lose weight while here, but I don’t know if I can resist such cheap tasty foods, because I know I can’t get them in the states.

Our pide 3 ways, cheese, egg, and meat - basically Turkish pizza

Tea, as my family poured it, red, as I like it.

Remember  how I was guesstimating how old my host “mom” is, well she finally asked me how old I am today, and was relieved that she was older… by 2 years… yep… she’s 30… but she’s also shown me a lot more around the house to help me feel more at home, probably because I’m so old lol. I’ve got the gate code, a key, have been shown where to get clean drinking water, been told there’s something called максим (maksim) in the fridge, I think? She showed me how to make my own tea (which I learned today that if you like it красный/red it means you like it strong), and also how to use the washing machine. My host mom last year wouldn’t let me do my own laundry, which is super sweet, and shows some cultural differences, I think. Even though I lived with her family for 2 months, I was always still considered, and treated, as a guest. Btw- tea is HUGE in Russian & Asian cultures if you didn’t already know that. Here (at least at home) it always comes in a concentrated form out of a tea pot and poured over a wee strainer with a few loose leaves in it, then diluted with hot water. It's served in a small bowl, called a пиала (piyala), add a sugar cube or a preserved strawberry and it’s even more delicious than it was originally. Speaking of strawberries… ermagherd… we got the BEST smoothies/смузис today! For about $3, it was so incredibly fresh and tasty… there will be many of those consumed this summer.

A fine example of taking your tea красный (red).

I’m pretty sure I’ve got a much more traditional Kyrgyz family than the students I’ve talked to today. Most of them had minimal exposure to their families and their customs because they just got in this morning at 5am, then had to be at school by 9am (for most of us it’s at least 25min to get to school) then we walked around the city… had I known we were going to walk so much, I would have worn a much different outfit… Yeah… walking around the city for hours on day 1 is one is pretty much one of my least favorite things to do… do you know how many of the things I remember from it? Umm… none. I remember where the nearest bank to get money is, and the shopping mall near the school, which is where I need to get off my marshrutka… we’ll see how well this goes tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll have the girls come with me for a while before I need to figure it out on my own. I think I have a pretty good handle on it, but I need to get used to keeping an eye out for my stop somehow, having to ask to get off at a stop, and to flagging down the marshrutkas. In Moscow, we got on and off at pretty standard stops, so they always stopped, whether anyone was waiting or not.

One of the few marshrutkas in my area.

Oh, I guess I should explain what a marshrutka is, since most American cities don’t have them, though I hear NYC has a few underground ones. A marshrutka is a minibus/van that only goes along a fixed route. It costs a little bit more than riding a traditional bus, and is way more crowded, but they often stop closer to where you want to get on and off. There’s no A/C, and the driver breaks harder than I do… at least the one on the way home today did… needless to say, this is a place where I will be showering at night to get the nasty of the day off… and maybe taking some whorebaths with wetwipes during the day. I managed to find toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, Nivea hand cream, and bodywash today for about $17 total, but normal body lotion seems to be elusive, maybe it’s just the store we were in… and I forgot to look for hand sanitizer… I need that, my hands feel dirty all the time.

Just like Russia and Batumi, A/C doesn’t exist in these houses, but heating is provided by the city… too bad it’s not cold out… The room I was in for testing today had a small A/C unit, but it was too little too late. It was so stuffy and warm in that room that I started to fall asleep DURING my placement test… so… hopefully my results still place me in the proper level.

Also, as I’m typing this, the wee little hellion is pant-less, playing hide and seek with his big sister. Not gonna lie… I envy him a little. I already miss living alone. His happy noises are hard to differentiate from his upset noises too, unless he’s legitimately crying.

So, what makes a Kyrgyz family so different from other families? Well, in Batumi, my family’s flat was perfectly normal, actually I really loved it. Small, but cozy, well decorated, and that balcony… you couldn’t beat an evening sitting out there, watching the families of the neighborhood head out for evening walks, eating perfectly ripe watermelon as that cool sea breeze rolled down the streets. Here, well yes it’s different because we’re in the suburbs, but everyone’s house out here feels a lot like a compound. There’s high cement walls with gates around all of them. There’s a carport for the Mercedes my family owns (yeah, their car costs about as much as the student loan debt I’ve got now) and when you go inside, you immediately take your shoes off, if you didn't already do it outside. In Batumi, it didn’t seem super necessary that I take them off right away, I’d walk into my room and take them off there, but my host mom would always get on to me for not putting on a pair of slippers/flipflops for walking around the flat. Well, she kept it so clean, I really didn’t see a need to do such a thing. Anyway, here it’s fine to walk around inside the house without shoes or slippers on, which I prefer anyway. I know I can leave them by the door, but I don’t want to crowd things too much, so I’ve been carrying them up to my room. Also, you need a pair of sandals/flipflops for walking around outside. THIS seems to be what makes my family different from other families… there’s a table to eat at outside under the carport, and a garden behind the house, between 2 sheds, a separate kitchen for cooking in when it’s hot out (there is one inside the house), and a table in the room next to it for meals when it’s hot out, as well as another stove of sorts in there too. I think for bigger meals. To me, it looks like it’s meant specifically for making dishes like plov, or beshbarmak, but I’m betting that’s not the case. I'll give you a better tour in a later post.

Not having internet at home is still kinda rough. Last year that was a good hunk of what kept me from getting homesick. I really pride myself on being a bit of a nomad and able to just go anywhere without missing “home”. Yesterday, I wasn’t missing “home” because, well… I don’t have one anymore… instead, I was missing Istanbul, where in a matter of days, I felt at home. It helped that I had a sweet flat with wifi, and my cell phone still got free data and texts though. Here, like in Georgia, it’s $0.50/text and $5.99/MB of data, so… needless to say, I’ll be shelling out the cash soon to buy myself a 4G data plan and mobile wireless router with one of the companies around here. It’s a 10 hour time difference, so the only convenient times to have any hope of getting in touch with anyone back in US is late at night when I’m relaxing before bed, and early in the morning when I’m getting ready to go to school. Which is about 1pm or 9pm for most of y’all. If I just sit at wifi cafes after class I’m really going to be missing out on a lot of the socializing, which is really one of the most important parts of this program. (The friends I’ve gotten to hold on to from these programs are some of the most fierce friends I could ask for) Besides, at 2pm when class gets out, it’s still only 4am on the East coast.

Speaking of relaxing before bed, I’ve got just a little bit of mental energy left in me to work on some draft messages (since I can’t send any until I get to school in the morning). I really should work on getting to bed earlier. But at least my hair has a familiar and comforting scent to it now that I’ve been reunited with my favorite shampoo and conditioner scents, which aren't sold stateside for some stupid reason. Oh, and my family put TP in the bathroom- WOOT! (It’s the little things, right? Lol)

Side note… the call to prayer here sounds very different from what I heard in Turkey, I’ll have to make recordings and post them as well for you to compare. Maybe it’s because I’m further away from the source, and there aren’t competing calls, but it sounds very different to me.

End of Bishkek Day 2.

Is this home?

Добро пожаловать в Киргизию! Welcome to Kyrgyzstan!

The Kyrgyz flag flies atop the sentinel mound at the Manas Ordo Complex near Talas, Kyrgyzstan

In my last post, you got some insight to the mess that has been my Tinder experience around Istanbul. Update - it wasn't as overwhelming by the time I left. I suppose I got used to the bad pickup lines, broken English, and expectations of Turkish/Tinder men. I've met a few cool people, and had some shenanigan filled adventures, courtesy of Tinder, though. I may have even met a man or two that I wouldn't mind keeping in my life in some form or another while I was in Istanbul as well. Since I made my Instagram account public, that's been inundated with messages too. Apparently they think that social networking and dating are synonymous. So thank you, Istanbul, for trying to make me feel pretty and interesting. I miss you dearly.

Also since my last post - I have gone on adventures to France, Belgium, Germany and now the Czech Republic. I've had a lot of adventures in this short time, and certainly have a lot to write about to keep y'all entertained.

Anyway, it's time to rewind a bit... I'd go all the way back to my 1st visit to Istanbul, but I want to start sharing parts of this crazy ride I've been on more frequently, especially now that I've started traveling for real this time. So, we're gonna jump right into my time in Bishkek. The following few posts will be largely unedited, raw writings of my first few days there. If I were to edit them, you'd lose out on the fresh memories, some of which I'm happy to report I can now look back and laugh at. I think it's time to send you on the journey with me - through the struggle - with me. I thought that adjusting to Batumi last year was The Hardest Thing I Ever Had To Do... I was wrong. 

If you want a little background to establish my mental state at the beginning of these adventures, you can read my pre-departure post: One Year Later. The gist of it - I was in a state of fear and panic, as the path I had been intending to follow was swept out from under me, and I was left in the same position I was in when I finished my undergrad: unemployed and homeless, with no prospects in sight. All I knew was that it would be good for my soul, and career path, to go to Bishkek, even though it meant spending money I should have been saving. 

On June 12th, I took my final Master's Comprehensive Exam and walked out of the room confident that I had nailed it. I packed up my apartment over the following 2 days with the help of some amazing friends, moved all of my belongings into storage, and said goodbye to Tallahassee. On June 15th, I was leaving the USA, the entire time thinking: "I'm not coming back until you give me a reason. America, I dare you, give me a reason to come back!" Spoiler alert: I have no intention of going back any time soon.

Now, with all of that stress and uncertainty fresh in your mind, let's begin.

Bishkek- Day 1 – 21 June 2015

Boarding our delightfully under-booked flight with Atlas

Today has been a hard adjustment. For starters, my head just feels funny. I don’t know if it’s motion (well, land) sickness from the boat ride yesterday (we took the long Bosphorous cruise) followed by the plane, or if it’s altitude sickness. Yes, laugh as much as you want, but this Florida girl is used to an elevation of 0ft - Bishkek is about 2,600ft. Anyway, as we began our descent into Bishkek, Masha saw a few lights and a whole lot of darkness and said “I thought we were going to a city? All I see is some North Korea shit down there!” I laughed and reminded her that the airport was still about 30km away from the actual city center, so we probably still weren’t in a position to see it. Shortly after, we finally saw the lights of the city, but that reassurance I gave her will come back to bite me in the butt if you keep reading.

Cheap fares, good food & plenty of empty seats - fly Atlas!

So, after that we continued joking around about what we were supposed to tell customs officers if they asked us why we were there, and how long we planned to stay. I said (in a Christopher Walken-esque rhythm) “I’m here to sight-see, and I hear y’all have some sights to see! Show me the sights!” Mash chimed in with “The sooner you stamp that passport, the sooner I can see the sights!” and well, I’m sure everyone around us thought that the only 2 white girls on the plane (with the exception of our Turkish crew) were pretty special… Mind you, it was about 3am Bishkek time, 12am Istanbul time, and 4pm EST at this point. After spending 3 hours in the Istanbul airport (never arrive more than 2hours early for flights in this part of the world), and 5 hours on an under-booked flight that still managed to not have enough leg room, add on some nerves about the next 2 months, and you’ve got 2 delirious girls.

Masha and I in a slightly less delirious state as we prepared to take off for Bishkek.

Anyhow, right before all that joking began, the thought ran through both of our heads at the same time: “What the HELL did I get myself into?!” Last summer, she was in Kazan, Russia, a fairly large city, and well, IN RUSSIA. She fits in there. If y’all haven’t noticed from the photos I’ve posted on Facebook and Instagram, she kinda stuck out like a sore thumb in Istanbul. Now, I’m getting to enjoy that feeling for the 1^st time here in Bishkek. I never thought I’d miss my cultural ambiguity as much as I do right now.

In Russia last year, people didn’t think twice about whether I was Russian or not. In Batumi, people thought I was Russian, and once I got a tan, I started to fit in more with the Georgians. In Istanbul, an old man who reminded me a lot of my Italian Step-Grandfather assumed I was of Turkish descent even after I told him I was from America. Today, my new hostess asked about my ethnicity as well. She said I have Russian eyes. I’ve only met a few people here in Bishkek, but there’s a whole lot of “one of these things is not like the other” going on around here, and well… for once, it’s me. But enough about the whole diversity thing… I know y’all are wanting to know about life with a new family.

I know I didn’t post much about my time in Batumi last year. You can blame a hunk of that on where I was staying. A lovely flat just blocks away from the Black Sea, in one of the best locations in the city, with an incredibly outgoing, sweet, and caring, host mom and family. I didn’t really have much down time to reflect on my experiences between that, school, hanging out with friends, and harassing a certain person who became my rock and kept me smiling. So far, my new host family here is really nice. They’ve let me do my thing and fed me very well. I’ve got a harder time considering them as a host mom & dad, because, well… I’m pretty sure they’re about my age. They’ve got a beautiful little girl, I’d say about 9 years old (who’s room I also took over judging by the pink Disney princess curtains and dolphin sheets - last year when I took over my host brother’s room it was maturely decorated for a 15yr old boy), and a hellion of a toddler, hitting his terrible 2’s. Considering how most of the cultures of Eastern Europe/Eurasia that I’ve encountered marry young and have children young… I’m putting them at 35 max. I know my host mom last year was only about 13 years older than me, but she also had a college aged daughter, and treated me as her own daughter as well. I don’t think my new hosts will be able to wrap their heads around that anytime soon, and I can’t blame them. If you put someone in my house that was 7 years younger than me, well, they’d just be my friend, or a sibling figure. (Heck half of my friends are about 7 years younger than me nowadays anyway).

But I digress… I think I’ve begun rambling. Oh yes… back to our arrival in Bishkek...

We landed sometime after 3am, and Masha and I easily moved through customs, with no questions asked whatsoever. We were greeted by a pretty, young, Russian-looking girl from the school our program would be using. She led us to the creepy van that would take us to our host families, and gave us little welcome packs to help us settle in. The pack consisted of a tourist map of Bishkek, a bottle of water, "goldfish" crackers, a dinky local cell phone, and a roll of toilet paper... soon enough you'll see how that welcome pack wasn't very reassuring for my 1st day there...

For now, let's jump to how reassuring Masha that we weren’t going to North Korea came to bite me in the ass… ya know how suburbs are a pretty Western concept? Well, that concept has been spreading. The airport was already about 30min away from the center of the city, and the girl who welcomed us told us that we're both lucky and only have a short bus ride to school every day. We circled Masha's neighborhood a few times trying to find her house, once we did, we said goodbye, and set off to find my house... which is at least 10 minutes from Masha's house. A short ride to school you say? What do you think is short? Oh, and guess what we passed on our way out there? A YURT! THERE'S A FREAKING YURT IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD! HOW FAR OUT OF THE CITY ARE WE!? I’m at least 6km away from my school, and that’s only what I gathered from google maps today based on landmarks I saw as I was driven here at 4am this morning. I can’t see the Bishkek skyline from here, and at night, I can’t see much of anything. Street lights are not a thing out here… neither are buses… I’m gonna have to learn which marshrutka and which stop will get me home tomorrow.

Does THIS look like a capital city to you?

When I woke up after over-sleeping in order to avoid all the awkward "getting to know you" stuff a little bit, I heard the sounds of a child screaming. I'm not certain if it was joy or anger, all I know is I don't know how to handle children... great... anyway, in the afternoon, my host mom made me a late lunch, and showed me around a little bit, and had her daughter clear out some space in the hallway closet for me to unpack, turned on the computer, and went off to Mosque with the kids, giving me some time to gather myself and get situated before dinner. I unpacked my stuff, and started going through my welcome pack.

First I tried to figure out where we were on the map that was in my welcome pack only to realize that our neighborhood isn't on it at all... okay, so we are pretty far a way from school... the bottle of water was a nice touch, since it's best to assume that water from the tap in most countries isn't safe to drink. In Russia, the water tasted gross, and was likely to make you sick. Bottled water wasn't cheap either, so it led to us drinking a lot of soda and beer, since it only cost a little more when we weren't near our big jugs we bought for the dorm rooms. In Batumi, bottled water was cheap, and tasty too, but the water from the tap was AMAZING! It was some of the best water I've ever tasted! Quite a delightful surprise after we were initially told to not even brush our teeth with that water to avoid getting sick or catching a parasite of sorts. In Bishkek, bottled water is super cheap and the tap water isn't dangerous to drink, it just doesn't taste as good, and is really hard. My family has a specific tap for drinking water, but it's not nearly as cold as the water to come out of the normal tap. The pack of "goldfish" crackers was quite disappointing... they taste nothing like the real thing. They don't even taste like saltines, much more bready... the local phone they gave us didn't have any money on it, didn't even have what our own number is written on it, so we have to figure out how to find it somehow, and there's no list of who has what phone number, so... unlike last year, when I was given a list of student numbers so I could get in touch with them right away, I spent my 1st day wishing I could call Masha, but couldn't.

Essentials for adjusting to Bishkek

The last item in the welcome pack was, of course, the roll of toilet paper... when I saw this, I thought
"haha, cute joke by the administration" because last year in Batumi, the school we attended rarely ever had TP in the bathrooms... nope... not the reason at all... When I finally walked into our little bathroom, I understood why... it's not a universal thing around here to use TP... there was a damp rag sitting on top of the toilet... gross. So. Much. Gross. I remember talking with someone about how some people in the US are switching to using cloth rags instead, because they're hippies and don't want to waste paper, but they would have a bin to toss the used ones in and then just wash them in a machine... nope... pretty sure this one just gets washed as you go, and everyone in the family uses the same one... nuuuuuuuuuuupe! It was after this that I finally got on the computer to try to figure out where in the world I was, and see if anyone I knew was on Facebook for me to freak out to. That 10 hour time difference meant that sure enough, no one was online. I made a quick, stressed out, and slightly terrified, status update and went back to my room to try to settle in.

I was freaking out JUST a little..

So, I was expecting we would live in the city, like I did last year. Mash isn’t exactly close to it either, but I think normal buses go out to her area at least. This puts a damper on getting to live in a similar manner as I did last year: Have breakfast at home before I leave for school, hang out with friends all day after class, enjoy a few glasses (or liters) of wine, then go home, chat with my family a bit, watch some RuTV or whatever they were watching, get on the internet to finish up the day’s homework, catch up on some Facebook, and chat with the person who could relate so well to what I was going thru and really kept me from getting homesick, while kinda making me look forward to going home at the same time. That same person, who had become my rock, who had me excited to go to Bishkek, is no longer in my life. So, I’m not sure how things will work out this year, just yet. My host “dad” is going to find out the best way to go about getting my computer and phone hooked up to the internet so I don’t have to use his computer for everything. But that still leaves how far away from the city and school that I live, leaving nothing for me to do without navigating public transportation. Not to mention, my family is Muslim, and it is currently Ramadan. So… plans of going out clubbing and being young and stupid this summer may just be out of the question completely. I know staying in and studying and applying for jobs and learning more about Islam and what life is like in a Muslim family will make me a better person in the long run, but man I miss going out every night in Istanbul! I miss acting the way I should have acted when I was Masha’s age. I should have been going out and having fun. Stupid being too young to go out for most of my time at University...

Anyway, since Ramadan started a few days ago, I also feel a bit guilty that my host “mom” has to make me food, when she's fasting. My neighbor called her and his wife both models - they fast for 1 month and they’re skinny again. At least the people around me have a good sense of humor, and I’m sure we’ll get comfortable around each other eventually. 

For those of you who don’t know anything about Ramadan, here’s a quick intro: it takes place during the 9^th month of the Islamic calendar, which is considered to be the holiest month of the year. People fast from sunrise to sunset, and avoid impure thoughts and actions. Think that's not too hard? In the summer here, (Ramadan began in June this year) the sun rises at 4:30am, and doesn’t set until about 9pm. That is some serious dedication.

The food I’ve had so far is tasty though. I have NO CLUE what I’m eating most of the time… or drinking for that matter… I should have taken photos of my food today for you, but I’m sure there will be time for that later. Plus I didn’t want to seem TOO weird on day 1. I do know that for dinner, they made a dish called “5 fingers” or «пять палцев» (pyat paltsev) in Russian, or бешбармак (beshbarmak) in Kyrgyz, and they make it for special guests. It was noodles with meat pieces, a big hunk of meat on the side (which mainly the men and special guests ate directly from) and we drank bullion with it. Not too weird, for a totally different culture, right? My neighbor told that I needed to eat it the traditional way, with 5 fingers, but his wife informed me he was joking, and I could use utensils. Having them over for dinner tonight, certainly made things a little less awkward for me. It's nice to know the neighbors and feel welcome in the community.

When we were done eating there was a prayer that I’m not used to, and feel a little weird doing because I don’t want to come across as disrespectful, but trying to do it is me attempting to be respectful, and my neighbor did try to teach it to me, and I earnestly tried to learn it… anyway, we finished it off with some tea. Some damn good tea at that. Just like in Russia, every meal has tea. I don’t hate it. Maybe this time when I get back to the states I’ll actually learn to make it correctly and keep up with that habit. After dinner I took a stroll with the men folk, and their toddler boys. That was when I learned that this is basically going to turn into a suburb eventually. None of the houses here existed 5 years ago, it was just fields. The side streets aren’t paved, but there is an attempt at a sidewalk along the main road. I just have no clue how everyone manages to walk around here without any sort of flashlight.

End of Day 1. Stay tuned for Days 2 & 3, and plenty more tales of shenanigans and cultural experiences!

A view of the Government Flag Stock, which is supervised by a special guard all day, and the Aykol Manas (Magnanimous Manas) statue in front of the State Historical Museum from Ala-too Square, the main square (плошадь) in Bishkek.