One year later...

I kept telling myself that I'd go back and hit all the points I didn't get to before, and that I'd go through my photos and post more, especially since y'all don't really know much about my time in Georgia... then life hit and I got busy and lazy. Let's see how much I can get through before I set out on this summer's adventure... Think of it as a countdown of sorts... and a way to kill time during my many layovers...

A lot changed in me while I was gone, and when I initially got back, I never wanted to those changes to go away. Well, unfortunately most of those changes fell by the way side eventually. A lot has also happened in my life since I got back. I moved into my 1st big girl 1 bedroom apartment, taught 2 levels of Russian, was awarded a scholarship to study Russian this summer with CLI in Kyrgyzstan, successfully passed one of my Master's comprehensive exams, majorly mucked up my life and career path, saw some of my favorite country singers in concert, had 2 of my friends from CLI come visit, went on my 1st real date, very nearly fell in love, had my heart broken more times than I can count, ended numerous friendships, nurtured old friendships, forged new friendships, and added 2 more bridesmaids dresses to the collection. I've technically graduated from FSU, yet technically haven't and am still sorting out that mess. I take my last exam in less than a week, 2 days later I leave Tallahassee for good.

Now I'm packing up my apartment and putting everything into storage indefinitely, reevaluating how much I actually wanted to pursue a PhD, starting the job hunt, and literally running away from my problems with this adventure to Kyrgyzstan this summer. My wallet hates me, my credit cards love me, and I'm coming to terms with being in debt for the rest of my life. I'm trying to view this all as an opportunity to really enjoy being the person I am right now: young, intelligent, unattached, and adventurous.

Perhaps one of the biggest struggles I've had this year, is with the feeling and fear of being trapped. My original post graduation plans have fallen through, and now I'm stuck looking for a job that I hadn't considered. I'm terrified of getting stuck in a rut again. I'm reluctant to settle for a job that only allows 2 weeks of vacation time, if that. I don't want to be trapped in a job I don't love, but took just to pay the bills - tied down to a life-sucking demon of a job, stagnant, and if I'm lucky, complacent. The silver linings of the biggest heartbreaks I suffered last semester have become apparent, and that fear of being trapped is driving me to make not just the best of the situation, but to thrive in spite of it. I refuse to settle for a life I'm not happy with.

Why do I fear being trapped so much? Because I wasted so much of my life before taking the leap and going somewhere, anywhere, let alone leaving my comfort zone. I spent years working for a terrible company, in a position that was the lowest on the payroll and respect meter, even though I had more degrees than my supervisors. I spent my undergraduate years trying to be responsible, racking up as little debt as possible, and taking classes all summer long so I could finish 2 degrees as young as possible. Those summers were the prime time for me to have just gone anywhere. This is the last of those summers for me - I'm determined not to waste it. I can't believe how much time I spent bored around Tallahassee when I could have gone anywhere else and found an adventure. While I feel I appreciate these adventures more because I'm older, I regret not starting earlier. This may be my last chance to not just travel abroad, but to live abroad, to have the chance to experience another culture in depth and be accepted into it. It may be my last chance, but I sure hope not...

My advice to you, dear readers, as I reflect on the year since embarking on the adventure of a lifetime:

Travel. Travel young. Travel far. Travel for an extended period of time. Travel like you'll never have to pay off your debt. Travel outside of your comfort zone. Travel despite fear, responsibility, and obligation. Most importantly, travel with an open mind and open heart. Let travel change you.

So, here's to the world, and to experiencing as much of it as I can. Here's to finding a career that won't tie me down or trap me in one place. Here's to the longest word in the Russian language (достопримечательности) and all of the new ones I'll see this summer. Here's to long layovers and even longer flights. Here's to the kindness of strangers. Here's to the bonds forged amid a foreign culture, and all the unforgettable sights and experiences. Here's to the people who make us feel safe, at home, and loved. Here's to open homes, and open families with open hearts and open minds. Here's to changing for the better. Here's to travel...

Landing

Well, I started this post as my plane began the descent into MCO, and I'm finishing it in my 1st big girl (1br) apartment in Tallahassee.  I still can't believe that this great adventure has come to an end. It began May 1st with a short trip to NY to see friends and family, and that's just how it's ended on August 20th. That's 3 months and 20 days since I've been in the state of Florida. 

Here's a little tip for anyone flying out of the NYC area, if you fly out of Westchester, you get some amazing views of the city. It was cloudy when we took off, so I didn't stare out the window like I usually would, and nearly missed these sights.

Manhattan, Central Park on left

Governors Island between Manhattan and Brooklyn

(Ellis and Liberty Islands)

Plus, it's such a small airport, you don't need to get there super early, or freak out about how to find your terminal, or deal with city traffic, and it only cost about $15 more for a flight to Orlando. Thank you Jet Blue. 

Yes... this is how small the Westchester airport is

Somewhere along the Atlantic coast of Florida, perhaps Daytona?

And how appropriate is this? Pitbull came on the station I was listening to on the plane as we flew over some very familiar sights... Sandy beaches, azure waters, deep blue lakes and rivers, dark green pines, the grids of central Florida suburbs with their snaking highways to connect them, and what looks like a wildfire in the distance, yup... that's FL for you, always getting blown away or burnt down.

As my plane touched down, something strange and uncontrollable happened... I felt a tightness in my chest and started to cry. The little kid sitting next to me must have thought I was crazy- he's starting a family vacation to the happiest place on Earth, and sitting there in a teal dress and black cowboy boots, I couldn't wipe the tears away fast enough.  At least my seat was at the back of the plane, so I had some time to compose myself before disembarking-23A, same one I sat in to fly to NY nearly 4 months earlier.

The fields & suburbs of Central FL

I forgot how big MCO is; that I'd have to take a shuttle before getting to the baggage claim. I stood there, starring out the window at familiar, yet strange folliage, hoping my ride wouldn't be hard to find once I reached the main terminal. I called as soon as I got off the tram, and didn't get an answer, but she found me. С первого взгляда на мою самую лучшую подругу, и я заплакала... как ребёнок. - Upon seeing my best friend, I cried like a baby. Ugly cried in public. Not from the happiness of seeing her, we've gone years without seeing each other. Not from being back in the states, or FL, or "home". I couldn't stop crying because this meant it was over. (And the fact that I was ugly crying in the airport made me more embarrassed, which led to more crying) This crazy, hectic, stressful, awesome adventure was over. The problems and stresses of real life awaited me... 2 months later & I still haven't addressed some of those issues... She tried to make me feel better by telling me that her daughter, my god daughter, told her that morning that she was so excited to see me, she thought she might cry. So I'm on the same level as a 6 year old when it comes to controlling my emotions apparently... actually worse, because she did a great job of not crying when we picked her up from school, while I fought back tears. This time because I couldn't believe how much she grew up while I was gone. The day I can't pick her up and smother her with kisses after being gone for a long time, will be a very sad day... for me that is, she'll be glad I can't embarrass her in public anymore.

So, while waiting for my luggage, I offered up some Imeruli Khatchapuri to Teri, to hold us over till we could get home and get lunch - I don't care how unsanitary it may have been to keep that stuff with me all the way from Georgia, but my host mom made it for me, and I needed it. I needed it to comfort me, just like when I was sick and she made me tea. I was sick when I left Batumi too, my host mom, again, did everything she could to make me, a very stubborn girl that never takes medicine, feel better. She even sent me home with some crazy Georgian лекарство (medicine) that burns so good when you put it on, mainly because it will clear up your congestion in a jiffy. Cultural note: in Russian, you always drink medicine, even if it's a cream you rub under your nose.

Here's a practical lesson for you, one I encourage you to use states side: if you ever sit near someone who doesn't know how to cover their mouth when they cough - punch them. Punch them right in the throat. They deserve it and everyone will thank you for it, because they were wanting to do the same thing, but were too afraid. And to those of you who don't cover your mouth when you cough- when people call you out on it, it's not a joke- we're judging you and plotting to murder you in your sleep because you're going to get us sick, ya nasty.

And I'll leave you with that for now. The past 2 months of adjusting back to "normal" life can warrant their own post. Plus, there are still so many photos to go through and stories to tell later, I want to do them justice!