One year later...

I kept telling myself that I'd go back and hit all the points I didn't get to before, and that I'd go through my photos and post more, especially since y'all don't really know much about my time in Georgia... then life hit and I got busy and lazy. Let's see how much I can get through before I set out on this summer's adventure... Think of it as a countdown of sorts... and a way to kill time during my many layovers...

A lot changed in me while I was gone, and when I initially got back, I never wanted to those changes to go away. Well, unfortunately most of those changes fell by the way side eventually. A lot has also happened in my life since I got back. I moved into my 1st big girl 1 bedroom apartment, taught 2 levels of Russian, was awarded a scholarship to study Russian this summer with CLI in Kyrgyzstan, successfully passed one of my Master's comprehensive exams, majorly mucked up my life and career path, saw some of my favorite country singers in concert, had 2 of my friends from CLI come visit, went on my 1st real date, very nearly fell in love, had my heart broken more times than I can count, ended numerous friendships, nurtured old friendships, forged new friendships, and added 2 more bridesmaids dresses to the collection. I've technically graduated from FSU, yet technically haven't and am still sorting out that mess. I take my last exam in less than a week, 2 days later I leave Tallahassee for good.

Now I'm packing up my apartment and putting everything into storage indefinitely, reevaluating how much I actually wanted to pursue a PhD, starting the job hunt, and literally running away from my problems with this adventure to Kyrgyzstan this summer. My wallet hates me, my credit cards love me, and I'm coming to terms with being in debt for the rest of my life. I'm trying to view this all as an opportunity to really enjoy being the person I am right now: young, intelligent, unattached, and adventurous.

Perhaps one of the biggest struggles I've had this year, is with the feeling and fear of being trapped. My original post graduation plans have fallen through, and now I'm stuck looking for a job that I hadn't considered. I'm terrified of getting stuck in a rut again. I'm reluctant to settle for a job that only allows 2 weeks of vacation time, if that. I don't want to be trapped in a job I don't love, but took just to pay the bills - tied down to a life-sucking demon of a job, stagnant, and if I'm lucky, complacent. The silver linings of the biggest heartbreaks I suffered last semester have become apparent, and that fear of being trapped is driving me to make not just the best of the situation, but to thrive in spite of it. I refuse to settle for a life I'm not happy with.

Why do I fear being trapped so much? Because I wasted so much of my life before taking the leap and going somewhere, anywhere, let alone leaving my comfort zone. I spent years working for a terrible company, in a position that was the lowest on the payroll and respect meter, even though I had more degrees than my supervisors. I spent my undergraduate years trying to be responsible, racking up as little debt as possible, and taking classes all summer long so I could finish 2 degrees as young as possible. Those summers were the prime time for me to have just gone anywhere. This is the last of those summers for me - I'm determined not to waste it. I can't believe how much time I spent bored around Tallahassee when I could have gone anywhere else and found an adventure. While I feel I appreciate these adventures more because I'm older, I regret not starting earlier. This may be my last chance to not just travel abroad, but to live abroad, to have the chance to experience another culture in depth and be accepted into it. It may be my last chance, but I sure hope not...

My advice to you, dear readers, as I reflect on the year since embarking on the adventure of a lifetime:

Travel. Travel young. Travel far. Travel for an extended period of time. Travel like you'll never have to pay off your debt. Travel outside of your comfort zone. Travel despite fear, responsibility, and obligation. Most importantly, travel with an open mind and open heart. Let travel change you.

So, here's to the world, and to experiencing as much of it as I can. Here's to finding a career that won't tie me down or trap me in one place. Here's to the longest word in the Russian language (достопримечательности) and all of the new ones I'll see this summer. Here's to long layovers and even longer flights. Here's to the kindness of strangers. Here's to the bonds forged amid a foreign culture, and all the unforgettable sights and experiences. Here's to the people who make us feel safe, at home, and loved. Here's to open homes, and open families with open hearts and open minds. Here's to changing for the better. Here's to travel...

Landing

Well, I started this post as my plane began the descent into MCO, and I'm finishing it in my 1st big girl (1br) apartment in Tallahassee.  I still can't believe that this great adventure has come to an end. It began May 1st with a short trip to NY to see friends and family, and that's just how it's ended on August 20th. That's 3 months and 20 days since I've been in the state of Florida. 

Here's a little tip for anyone flying out of the NYC area, if you fly out of Westchester, you get some amazing views of the city. It was cloudy when we took off, so I didn't stare out the window like I usually would, and nearly missed these sights.

Manhattan, Central Park on left

Governors Island between Manhattan and Brooklyn

(Ellis and Liberty Islands)

Plus, it's such a small airport, you don't need to get there super early, or freak out about how to find your terminal, or deal with city traffic, and it only cost about $15 more for a flight to Orlando. Thank you Jet Blue. 

Yes... this is how small the Westchester airport is

Somewhere along the Atlantic coast of Florida, perhaps Daytona?

And how appropriate is this? Pitbull came on the station I was listening to on the plane as we flew over some very familiar sights... Sandy beaches, azure waters, deep blue lakes and rivers, dark green pines, the grids of central Florida suburbs with their snaking highways to connect them, and what looks like a wildfire in the distance, yup... that's FL for you, always getting blown away or burnt down.

As my plane touched down, something strange and uncontrollable happened... I felt a tightness in my chest and started to cry. The little kid sitting next to me must have thought I was crazy- he's starting a family vacation to the happiest place on Earth, and sitting there in a teal dress and black cowboy boots, I couldn't wipe the tears away fast enough.  At least my seat was at the back of the plane, so I had some time to compose myself before disembarking-23A, same one I sat in to fly to NY nearly 4 months earlier.

The fields & suburbs of Central FL

I forgot how big MCO is; that I'd have to take a shuttle before getting to the baggage claim. I stood there, starring out the window at familiar, yet strange folliage, hoping my ride wouldn't be hard to find once I reached the main terminal. I called as soon as I got off the tram, and didn't get an answer, but she found me. С первого взгляда на мою самую лучшую подругу, и я заплакала... как ребёнок. - Upon seeing my best friend, I cried like a baby. Ugly cried in public. Not from the happiness of seeing her, we've gone years without seeing each other. Not from being back in the states, or FL, or "home". I couldn't stop crying because this meant it was over. (And the fact that I was ugly crying in the airport made me more embarrassed, which led to more crying) This crazy, hectic, stressful, awesome adventure was over. The problems and stresses of real life awaited me... 2 months later & I still haven't addressed some of those issues... She tried to make me feel better by telling me that her daughter, my god daughter, told her that morning that she was so excited to see me, she thought she might cry. So I'm on the same level as a 6 year old when it comes to controlling my emotions apparently... actually worse, because she did a great job of not crying when we picked her up from school, while I fought back tears. This time because I couldn't believe how much she grew up while I was gone. The day I can't pick her up and smother her with kisses after being gone for a long time, will be a very sad day... for me that is, she'll be glad I can't embarrass her in public anymore.

So, while waiting for my luggage, I offered up some Imeruli Khatchapuri to Teri, to hold us over till we could get home and get lunch - I don't care how unsanitary it may have been to keep that stuff with me all the way from Georgia, but my host mom made it for me, and I needed it. I needed it to comfort me, just like when I was sick and she made me tea. I was sick when I left Batumi too, my host mom, again, did everything she could to make me, a very stubborn girl that never takes medicine, feel better. She even sent me home with some crazy Georgian лекарство (medicine) that burns so good when you put it on, mainly because it will clear up your congestion in a jiffy. Cultural note: in Russian, you always drink medicine, even if it's a cream you rub under your nose.

Here's a practical lesson for you, one I encourage you to use states side: if you ever sit near someone who doesn't know how to cover their mouth when they cough - punch them. Punch them right in the throat. They deserve it and everyone will thank you for it, because they were wanting to do the same thing, but were too afraid. And to those of you who don't cover your mouth when you cough- when people call you out on it, it's not a joke- we're judging you and plotting to murder you in your sleep because you're going to get us sick, ya nasty.

And I'll leave you with that for now. The past 2 months of adjusting back to "normal" life can warrant their own post. Plus, there are still so many photos to go through and stories to tell later, I want to do them justice!

The hardest thing I've ever had to do...

...is this... this is the hardest thing I've ever done. Yup. I'm pretty sure of that.

I truly have to apologize for the delay on this post. A more accurate and in the moment description of what I've experienced would have been best, but I'll try to describe things as accurately as possible. I was incredibly busy since I arrived in Batumi, I know I've mentioned it before, but seriously, it was really a challenge to find some "me" time. If it's not obvious enough by the fact that I've only posted once in the past 8 weeks, and that I'm retroactively posting... considering I finished writing  this on a plane to New York and am finally posting it days later as I wait for my flight to Orlando. Sorry. The adventure may be over, but that just means once I'm settled in Tally again I'll go through photos and post things in more detail.

Anyway, going back to why this is probably the hardest thing I've ever done... the following post is based on what I felt for about my first 2 weeks there, and I'll even give you a spoiler just for some peace of mind: things changed...

I think this is what culture shock feels like. I didn't really experience it in Moscow, because big cities don't scare me, and I got reacquainted with dorm life last summer, so nothing was all that new. Yeah, I sounded like an idiot plenty of times when I tried to communicate and looked like a deer in headlights plenty of times, but nothing really put me out of my comfort zone.

Here, on the other hand... what did I get myself into? I can't read any signs, I don't understand most of the languages spoken around me (yeah, there are plenty of people around here who speak little to no Russian), and I know nothing of the culture, customs, food, or area. Oh did I mention the amount of fear the officials in the program have tried to instill in us? I know they just want us to be aware and cautious, but I feel like I'm in a dangerous and hostile place. Not fun.

Have I also mentioned that I haven't lived in a nuclear family since I was 4ish? That's over 20 years of living without a patriarch in the house, and certainly no little siblings. All of a sudden, I have a mom, dad, and 3 little siblings. How do I do this? How do I acclimate to family life? How do I get used to new family customs, and not being able to communicate with everyone in the family? (Yeah, I'm not allowed to speak English at home, and my littlest sister speaks more English than Russian. Frack.) WALK ON ALL OF THE EGGSHELLS!

In addition to the stress of getting acquainted to a new style of home life, and dealing with changing dynamics in old friendships while trying to make new ones again, let me tell you about some of those things  the officials kept warning us about:

Don't stay out at night, and if you do, make sure you're not alone, preferably have a male with you. -- Honestly, it was the males that were likely to get in trouble. By the end of the program I felt perfectly safe walking home alone at night. Safer than in Moscow.

Watch out for suspicious characters. If someone is overly interested in the fact that you're American, they're probably a spy and you need to report it. --ok... I'm not totally sure if this actually happened to someone, but I think I overheard some people talking about it happening once.

Watch out for men following you. The whole kidnapping wives thing still happens on occasion. -- this actually got worrisome on occasion. One girl did notice someone following her on 3 occasions, and someone else confirmed it. -- and I think we came pretty close to getting wived once in the Southern Caucus Mountains, but that's another story. Another fantastic and unforgettable story...

Then there's the things I kept hearing from other girls in the program: the men are really aggressive, they don't know how to take no for an answer, they think because you're friendly that you want to date them... --well I had zero problems with that. It seems like they could all tell just by looking at me that I'm an old maid. (Cue sad trombone)

And to add to all of that stresss, the CLI program is intensive. 1 year of Russian in 2 months, nbd. I know people here from last year, so it's not too bad, but showing up a day late, with a zombie brain, means I had no clue what was going on the whole first day. My teacher seemed nice, but I spent the first few weeks trying to feel out if she liked me. Doesn't help that I'm a slacker. Yeah, doing homework for a few hours every day, but not studying for hours for the test totally puts me in slacker zone around here.

Despite all of this, I'm still glad to be in a place I never thought I'd ever be, making some awesome memories and learning a lot. Still haven't really gotten homesick yet either.

So, bring it on CLI Batumi!

Batumi's famous Cha-Cha Tower, where at 7pm, for 10 minutes, Cha-Cha flows freely

Students of the Maritime Academy in Batumi disperse after Maritime Day Celebrations in June, 2014

Batumi's Alphabet Tower - letters of the Georgian Alphabet glow green at night as they spiral up to the ball of the tower. 

Another beautiful sunset over the Black Sea

SOMEONE made the mistake of petting one of Batumi's stray dogs. He followed us for the rest of the day. We named him George. He stalked us for the rest of the summer, knowing we were happy to feed and pet him.

Being buried on the beach here is a wee bit different than back home.

A statue depicting Madea and the Golden fleece, with Batumi's only skyscraper in the background.

One of the best (and worst) things about Georgia: Khatchapuri

Every new beginning...

So... behind on posts again, forgive any conflicting tenses, lost thoughts and outdated information. I started writing this during a layover, and have been incredibly busy since I landed in Batumi, so I've been trying to write about how I felt at the time.

До свидания Москва! Boarding the plane at Domodedovo airport, heading to Minsk. My 2nd flight of the day.

June 24th: Today was just one of those days... I'm incredibly exhausted and have just been struggling to get through the day without curling into a ball and giving up on the rest of my adventure. At least I finally know what day it is. I woke up in a lovely hotel in Irkutsk on Tuesday, at 5:30 am (12:30 am Moscow time, 4:30 pm Monday est) and started my long, stressful, anxiety filled journey to finally get to Batumi, Georgia.

It's now 4am Wednesday Moscow/Batumi time (9am in Irkutsk, 8pm Tuesday est) and I've finally landed in Batumi! In the past day and a half, I've been on 2 continents, in 3 countries, crossed 6 time zones, and time traveled twice as well. All on only 3ish hours of sleep. It has taken an incredible amount of strength to keep pushing on and not breakdown crying.

I feel like I got jipped out of saying goodbye to Moscow. I only had a few hours between landing back in Moscow and taking off again. No time to be sad or nostalgic over that though, I can do that once the Fall semester starts. Last summer I felt like a loner, because I was the last one to leave Tempe. This trip, I wasted a lot of time once the rest of the group had left, and now wish I had just ventured out on my own and taken the city in a bit. I thought being the 1st to leave for a change would feel better, like I wouldn't have time to be sad over leaving, but I was wrong. If you're ever in one of these group travel situations, the best option would probably be to stick with the group. Leave the same day the majority of them do, if you have the option.

Ah, that's where I was going with the title of this post... Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Lame? Cheesy? True? Yes. Moscow had to end in order for the unforgettable adventure in Siberia to begin. (I'll post more about it later, promise) Then Siberia had to end to start the adventure in Batumi. It's hard, and it definitely didn't make this hectic day any easier.

After a 4 hour layover and tons of confusion in Minsk, my final plane of the evening - and they bumped me to business class!

Anyhow... the journey to Batumi marks the 1st time I'm really traveling abroad alone. It's scary. Really scary. Pretty sure I've been having an anxiety attack since we got back to the dorms and ran into trouble with my departure. Again, I'm flying a foreign airline, because there really isn't another choice. Belavia, a Belarusian airline. Things I've learned from this experience... the Minsk airport is special and European airlines have different baggage policies, so short haul flights lead to big baggage fees if you're like me and packed way too much. (Not completely my fault- the pre-departure packet told me to pack a bunch of stuff I didn't need)

I FINALLY made it! Now... where's this white boy from CLI that's supposed to pick me up?

After sitting in airports and trying to sleep on my luggage, as well as on planes, which I still can't pull off (though the business class upgrade from Minsk to Batumi helped me almost sleep), all I wanted was to see a friendly face and hear some English. I was greeted in Batumi by 2 men I've never seen, had no clue if they speak any English, but did my best to try to understand what was going on, the whole time thinking "getting into a car with 2 strange men in a foreign country, this is a GREAT idea! What could possibly go wrong?" And just looking forward to those friendly faces with American accents waiting for me at school.

Quite a view for my 1st night.

To make the situation even more sketch, we pulled into an alleyway. I remind you, it was 4:30 am here by then. I had been up for over 24 hours at this point and had only taken a 3 hour nap before then in hopes of falling asleep on the plane and nipping any jet-lag in the bud. At that point I didn't really care about my safety, or that this vaguely resembled the opening of "Taken", or how many Lifetime movie specials they could make from this scene. I placed my trust in the CLI program; that they would not let anything bad happen to a student (unless it was a result of their own stupidity).

Beyond that sketchy alleyway was a sketchy stairwell with a small elevator, then on the 4th floor was the door to my new home for 8 weeks, in front of which I was greeted by a very friendly face, that of my host mother. Just not the friendly face I had expected or longed for. We tried not to wake anyone up as she helped me get settled a bit and got to know each other a little. 

The 3 hour nap I got before waking up for class was the hardest nap I've ever taken. (In a good way) Then my host mom made me breakfast and introduced me to the rest of the family before my host brother walked me to school and made sure I found some of those friendly faces. I almost cried. Out of joy this time, not from anxiety and stress. 11 months had passed since I last saw 4 of my fellow CLI students, 2 of whom I have the joy of considering some of my closest friends.

The rest of that first day is a bit of a blur. I wasn't jet-lagged this time, just suffering from some severe sleep deprivation. At one point there was a big celebration for Seafarers Day, a bunch of new acquaintances made, and some homework struggled through. I only dozed off in class a few times...

Students from the Batumi Marine Academy parade along the port in honor of Seafarer's Day

I think that should be enough for finally putting up a 1st post from Georgia, considering I've been here for 4 weeks now. I'll catch up on my thoughts and posts and awesome things I've experienced later. Like I mentioned in Moscow, the less frequent I post, the more fun I'm having :-)

2 of those dear friends I waited almost a year to see, with one of those new acquaintances in the middle 

Forward motion is harder than it sounds...

So, there have been a lot of thoughts in my head lately, and unfortunately, typing them out on my phone takes too long for me to do them on a whim, so some of them may never make it to y'all. Others may make it, but not in an even remotely cute or witty manner, sorry.

Tonight is the last night our whole group from FSU is here in Moscow (except my roommate, who left at 5am today). I can't believe that 6 weeks have already gone by! Things are pretty bittersweet around here, some are happy to go home, some aren't, and a few others are getting ready to embark on another big adventure- Siberia. My access to phone service and internet will be pretty limited starting Monday afternoon, but I'll try to post updates so y'all know I'm alive. Plus, Siberia- HOW FREAKING COOL IS THAT!? It also entails more long flights and jet-lag, so hopefully I'll be able to wrap up my thoughts on Moscow before landing in Batumi.

 

Anyway, I'm making this post pretty short because there's too much hanging out and partying to do with the amazing friends I've made here.

So, I guess today's lesson is all about forward motion. Yes, the past 6 weeks have been amazing, and I have no regrets. Some things I'd like to tweak a bit, but I'd do everything exactly the same again. And while I'll catch myself missing these people (already got disappointed when someone came into my room this evening and I was totally expecting it to be my roomie), this place, and these experiences, I don't have time to miss them long, or wish I had done something differently, because I'm off to the next great adventure. So, tonight, a song by Relient K will be my anthem. "We all struggle with forward motion. Cause forward motion is harder than it sounds."

What happens when you put a bunch of FSU students on a boat sailing the Moscow River? Shenanigans.

Russian smiles on fleek.

HOLY CRAP! War of 1812!?! Napoleon got all the way over here?! Let me take a selfie.

For the best view of Moscow, check out the 850 Ferris wheel.

Checkout the Starlight Cafe, if you want a 1950's style diner with alcoholic milkshakes!

Marching Chiefs marching on Red Square

Eventually every church looks like all the others, so let's selfie!

When in Petersburg, get dressed up, and go to the Pushkin Cafe - we clean up pretty well, no?

Who could ask for lovelier dinner companions?

Who cares if they guys missed the memo? The girls got to play dress-up for our Midnight White Nights cruise in Petersburg

Friendships blossoming now that we're out of the classroom!

Look at this Motley Crew at the beginning of the trip - I don't think any of us could fit into our clothes after 6 weeks.

Week 1 shenanigans. Bonds quickly forged.

I didn't know the importance of that sign behind us at the time... something about The Master & Margarita...

Going to tour the bunker that was the command center for the Cuban Missile Crisis? Let me take a selfie.