Home Sweet Home

I've had a request to give a tour of what my home and neighborhood were like in Bishkek, so I'll do my best...

In my first post about Bishkek, I mentioned how freaked out I was when I realized how far out of the city my neighborhood was, as well as a little bit about our house, and well... that icky discovery in the bathroom... but let's start from the beginning...

A map of Kyrgyzstan, with the places I spent time in marked. Note Kazakhstan is VERY close to Bishkek.

Here's Bishkek, a little closer... notice how far away from the majority of the city the pin marking my house is?

I wasn't kidding. 5 streets and you hit farmland.

See... I wasn't exaggerating when I said I was living pretty far out there. Only 5 streets away from fields, and nowhere near the city center.

Welcome to my 'hood - Рухий Мурас (Rykhii Muras)

This cute little ass passed our stop regularly, bringing produce to town.

All of the land out here was farmland just 5 years ago. My host parents built our house on their own. I think it's incredibly sweet. One weekend, when my host aunt was babysitting me (yes... I told them I wasn't afraid to spend a weekend alone, that I've lived alone before, and can totally take care of myself, but that whole hospitality thing...), she told me about how they met. It seems like the start to a cheesy rom-com -  it was on Independence Day at Panfilov Park. I haven't told you all about that park yet, but really... it's where all the youth go on warm summer nights to go have fun. It's basically an amusement park, but you don't have to pay admission fees to get in, so you can just wander around and enjoy the lights and sounds and buy tickets to whatever attraction interests you. Anyway... It took a few years for them to finally decide to get married, with both of their families pushing them toward it. They married for love. Something that's normal in Western culture, but not always the normal practice in other parts of the world. In Kyrgyzstan, as in Georgia, "bridenapping" is still a very common thing.

I was trying to give y'all a tour, not a history lesson, wasn't I? Sorry... so... where was I?

This house was our marker to get off the Marshrutka.

Yes, our relatively new neighborhood on the outskirts of Bishkek. There's 1 paved road taking you all the way to the fields. At the end is where the marshrutkas and buses line up waiting to start their next run, take a quick break, or grab something at the store. There's a sidewalk on one side of the street, but there are absolutely NO streetlights that far out of the city. All other roads are rough, dusty, gravel roads. Gotta watch where you're walking at all times, or risk spraining an ankle and eating dirt. Needless to say... I never tried to wear heels while I was living out here... or to go for a jog... it would have ended badly...

My host dad playying with Beksul'tan & some neighborhood kids.

Our house is completely finished, and there's a little store next door at the front of the wee complex the neighbors built. The house across the street... not so finished... but there's enough of a roof for the owners to live... in the summer, electricity doesn't really matter that much. There's SO many hours of daylight, and there wouldn't be air conditioning in the house anyway. Most people know how to cook without it as well. What about plumbing you ask? Well... in that area, it's still common, nay smart, to have an outhouse. BELIEVE ME on that one... Things I wish I had discovered sooner... we went for like 2 days without water once... my hair... was so nasty...

My host mom watching my host dad & brother play with neighborhood kids

Our house doesn't look like anything all that special from the outside. Pretty standard. The fence/wall facing the street is a bit decorative, as you can see in this photo. We have a code gate to walk through, and a larger gate next to it for the car to enter the driveway. You walk into the complex, and there's a wee front yard with a tree, and a few plants my host mom put there on the right. Trash is on the left, and eventually my host mom started putting leftover food in that area for the cats that wound up living in the yard... pets are not very common here... animals in the house? Yuck. Vaccines are also pretty expensive (not so much for a foreigner, but for a local, yes), so you do have to worry about strays living in your yard, especially if you have kids, you never know what they have and could pass to your child if they get scratched.

Our wee front yard and stoop

Anyway... the carport is to the left of the house. The stoop is fairly small, but you always have to be sure to leave a pair of sandals out there. Like a normal Muslim household, we don't wear shoes inside. Which I like. I'm a walk around barefoot kind of gal. So, take your shoes off either before or as soon as you go in, and stash them by the door, or put them in your room, and keep a pair by the door for walking around outside, which in the summertime will be every time you want to eat something. As I mentioned in an earlier post, in the summertime, my family eats all meals outside. Why heat up the house more by cooking inside? We've got a separate eating/cooking area out back. Pretty clever, if you ask me.

A bit tight, but well equipped!

So... after you take your shoes off and go inside, there's a little foyer, with shelves to place your shoes, and places to hang your coats, then there's a wee corridor leading to the bathroom, which I didn't take any photos of. Sorry. Besides the rag instead of TP discovery, the bathroom was pretty standard. Toilet, sink, washing machine, and a shower, but not the kind of shower we're used to, this was more like how you buy a whole hot-tub and put it in your house somewhere. You buy the shower unit, and pop it somewhere in your house. You have to step up to get into it, which wouldn't be ideal for the elderly, but it was still nicer than quite a few showers I've experienced in my life.

To the right once you enter the house, is another door (it seems the hall with the bathroom, extra storage room, and the foyer were additions after the house was already finished), once you go through that, you have the kitchen to the left, which as I've said many times, we rarely used while I was there. It did have all of your standard kitchen appliances, a nice fridge, a separate tap for drinking water, and even a proper oven... something I've had to live without since I left... Now and then, if it wasn't too hot out, we'd have some tea and a snack in there, or you'd catch visiting family members lying on the benches, taking a nap, or watching TV, because it was so much cooler on the 1st floor.

Fancy A.F. right?

Straight ahead is the mystery door... I didn't know what was behind it for about a month... I wasn't very big on snooping around, even though I was curious. I sort of always felt like I'd get caught and get in trouble somehow. Well, at first, I thought maybe another family lived behind the mystery door, it was a really nice door to have installed inside the house. Eventually I was invited beyond the mystery door, and what did I learn? There's a formal dining room in there! Like, seriously fancy, can seat at least 20 people with a long table and the nice china, etc. That's also where my family slept at night in the summer. I was really confused for the first few days when I realized that I was the only person sleeping upstairs... I had no clue where everyone else was! Anyway, the first time I was invited in there was for a formal dinner, when family came into town as part of a holiday. After that, my wee host terror began dragging me in there to play at night, if he wasn't in a mood to tear apart my room instead.

Doesn't look uncomfortable at all... better than springs stabbing you.

It may seem weird that the whole family sleeps down there in the summertime to you, but really, it makes sense. It's a lot cooler in that room, because it's on the 1st floor, and doesn't receive much direct sunlight. Plus, in many parts of the world, it's still totally normal for entire families to sleep together until the child has hit puberty, or even later. My wee host sister last year in Batumi slept in bed with her parents, even though she was about 10. That's not because I stole her room, either. That was just normal. So, in traditional Kyrgyz style, thick blankets get laid out on the floor, pillows for heads, and another blanket or sheet on top. Mom, dad, daughter, and son, all sleep together on the floor. Even though I had my own room, and a proper bed, I'm sure they were far more comfortable than me every night.

A stash of traditional, brightly colored, thick Kyrgyz blankets for sleeping.

A nice little nook for the computer, no?

To the right of the mystery door, was a wee den area next to the stairs. A desk with a computer was under the stairs, and opposite the staircase was another couch, sometimes the kids would sit and watch videos on the computer, from there, or play with toys in that area as well. Once you go up the stairs is a big window, one of the few windows in the house that would get direct sunlight. It lit up the second floor landing. You make a left as soon as you get to the top, and the first door you see is my host parent's bedroom, which was mainly just used for storing their clothes in those hot summer months.

Plenty of space to play, or just lounge about!

To the left of that was another door, leading to the living room. Couches, a TV, and plenty of floor space in that room, perfect for slumber parties (my host sister had quite a few with her cousins) or for little Beksul'tan to run rampant in. The last room up there was mine, originally Beka's. It was equipped with a desk, and a ton of those thick Kyrgyz blankets, since that seemed to be the best place to store them, and a normal twin bed. The decor? Kinda perfect for trying to make me feel like a kid again. Brightly colored dolphin sheets, and Disney Princess curtains.

It was actually a pretty comfy bed, Lotso approved!

The view from my window during a RARE sun shower.

From my window, I could pretty much only see the neighbor's house, because the carport was next to my room, but that came in handy at times as well. Now and then, I'd hear my name called from their kitchen, and they would tell me Racha was looking for me, or invite me over for tea and dessert. These were the kind of neighborhood interactions that you think only exist on TV. Just outside of my room was an armoire, in which Beka, my host sister, cleared out some space for me to put my clothes. So... Yeah, that's our quaint little house.

ALWAYS pack extra flipflops!

Outside is where things start to get different from what we're used to... so, head downstairs, put your flipflops on, and walk through the carport (which is where my family's Mercedes was stored) There's a couch at the end of the carport, up against another building. A nice place to sit outside, under cover, to avoid the stifling heat inside. On the left perimeter of the yard was a long building, which I just assumed was storage for a while. in the right far corner is the extra cooking/dining area. The rest of the yard - a beautiful garden. Well... it would be even more beautiful once everything my host mom had planted was ripe. The roses were beautiful from the very beginning though.

I loved walking past these flowers every day!

The backyard as seen from the living room.

That storage shed turned out to not just have storage, as I discovered one day when I was left alone and started snooping. There was also a banya in there. OMG A BANYA!? My dream house will have a banya. Until you've experienced banya, you have no clue how refreshing it is. It's not just a sauna, or a steam room. It's a form of bathing, that stimulates the senses and leaves you feeling relaxed and refreshed. Further back was more storage for wood etc. and then another little building... THAT was where the outhouse was hiding! WHY DIDN'T THEY SHOW ME THAT!? Seriously. The days when we didn't have any water or someone was already in the bathroom when a case of CASE  hit, that would have been really nice to know...

The backyard as seen from the carport - the garden and summer kitchen

CAS/E by the way is a gem of a term I learned from a girl I met at my hostel here in Tbilisi. Central Asian Stomach/Evacuations is what she called it. Once you've traveled in Central Asia, you'll understand exactly what that is. Raz walked from Cornwall, England to Istanbul, bought a bike, and has cycle-toured all the way to Bishkek, so she knows all about CAS... I've got to throw a shameless plug out to her blog, and hopefully one day soon, her book. Meeting someone as fearless as her, just further inspired me to keep writing about these adventures, and to find some new ones, because the world really isn't such a big, scary place. So, give Raz's blog a look! She's been to some of the places I've been to, but has definitely had a unique experiences, and a different perspective as well!

You probably don't want to see what it looked like under those floorboards...

And lastly, we come to the extra kitchen, and dining area. Basically, it was a rough storage shed with a microwave and hot plate, and a kettle, with a big hole in the floor, so stuff could be stored underneath... yeah... a hole dug in the ground under the floorboards, not some sort of finished storage room, literally a deep ass hole... So... now you know why a permanent state of traveler's sickness, or CAS took hold... Food storage around these parts, isn't that great. Plus there was just a lot of meat, potatoes, noodles, and fat. CASE was standard. I have a stomach of steel now, I swear. But I digress...

This is where we had most meals, and spent hours of chatting over tea.

Next to the extra kitchen/storage shed was the spare dining room. Really casual, but many hours a night were spent in there, just drinking tea and chatting with my host mom. This is also where the big stove for making large, celebratory meals is located. In the photo, it's on top of the pink tiles. You put the heating elements in one of those doors on the side, and the big pan for cooking is on top of that, in this photo, they have wood covers on them to keep them clean. I never got to see it in action, but that is where dishes like beshbarmak and plov would be made when you're expecting a lot of guests, and as you've seen from that formal dining room, they certainly can accommodate a lot of guests.

One of those days when the hole was handy.

I've mentioned before that the neighborhood was very social. Very much an "it takes a village" kind of environment. I met our neighbors on the first night I was there. I met other people living nearby shortly after, and pretty much everyone recognized me, even if I hadn't met them yet. There was even a big hole in the fence separating our houses, which came in pretty handy a few times, when Racha locked herself out of the yard. It was big enough for an adult to climb through. It also meant that we could just go downstairs and chat through the hole, if we didn't feel like changing out of PJ's and walking around the neighborhood. Evening strolls weren't uncommon, which was really nice. I joined my host dad in playing with other neighbors and kids on the street a few times. I think I even got engaged at one point... I'm not entirely sure that the engagement is broken off, actually...

Overall, once I got used to it, it was a great place, full of great people. It actually came to remind me of where I grew up in New York. On a dirt road, where everyone in the neighborhood knew who I was. Where neighborhood kids played in the streets, and parents socialized. It's a good way to live... I guess I'll always be a bit of a country girl... Hopefully I'll be walking down those dusty roads again in the near future. Now that I've actually pulled off returning to a country that I never thought I'd go back to, I really believe that I will make it back to Bishkek one day. I know it won't be the same, the neighborhood, and my host siblings will all grow, but I can't wait to walk past that yurt, see those mountains, smell that dust again, and smile fondly.

I got to see those mountains every day, reminding me how special this place is.

If I hadn't lived so far from the city, I wouldn't have been lucky enough to see sunsets like this on a regular basis.

I wasn't kidding about the yurt in the neighborhood either!

8 Dating Struggles Faced by Travelers

If you travel extensively, and for long enough, you’re bound to break into the dating scene in some form or another. These are just a few of the struggles I’ve experienced or witnessed in my travels so far:

8 – “Summer Lovin’ – Happened So” – NOPE! 

Squad - the main reason my summer was great - bonds worth keeping for life!

So you’re somewhere new for the summer, it could be summer camp, an internship, a long vacay, or ::cough:: an intensive language program ::cough:: it’s bound to cross your mind eventually… the summer love… something you see in bad teen movies all the time, something that secretly you’ve wanted since you were in middle school… So you find yourself somewhere different. Somewhere that no one knows you – the PERFECT opportunity to recreate yourself! You dress a bit nicer, care a bit more about your appearance, try out different personality traits, or tone down on some… sure enough within a week everyone starts pairing off… except you… You are the cheese. You stand alone. You watch your friends catch feelings while you awkwardly sit around as the 3rd wheel, wondering when it will finally be your turn... This summer was the 1^st time that I didn’t have that issue. Why? Because I found a squad of fierce bitches who didn’t have time or energy for all the drama that comes with summer flings for a change. The prior 2 summers were like a Soap Opera... Seriously, you can't write the kind of stuff that happened... I'm glad there wasn't a season 3... I felt far better about myself this summer than I did the past 2. Yes, I’m happy to see my friends happy when things are going well in their flings, but I also feel lonely, left out, unwanted. This year, probably for the 1^st time ever, I never felt like I was left out, or inviting myself to go along somewhere. Squad wanted me there as much as I wanted to be with them. Squad reunion someday will be epic… provided we can remember any of it.

7 – Language Barriers. 

Ain’t they a bitch? Like at first you think “ooh… we don’t need to talk, we’ll let the chemistry, and our bodies do all the talking” but eventually you realize that without the ability to have a proper conversation with this person, the chemistry doesn’t really flow, and body language can’t make up for that entirely… especially if they don’t really have the kind of moves to get you going, and you can’t give them much guidance, because you know… neither of you know the proper vocabulary in the other’s language… He may be straight gorgey on tinder, but when he can’t say more than 5 words to you in a language you understand, and he’s not a smooth operator, those 6 pack abs just can’t make up for it. And that’s a shame. It won’t stop you from trying now and then, but you’ll just remember this point every time and wonder why you thought this time would be any different.

6 – Cultural Differences That Just Can’t Be Overcome. 

Ay me! Such ill fated timing! My love! My life! My stranger!

You meet someone, and they’re great. You’re having fun, you think about what life could be like if things lasted a while, then you start to realize that there are things about their culture that you cannot grow accustomed to, and if things were to work out, you would hate having to deal with. Some examples: serious impatience, or over-eagerness to meet... men who believe that fathers should play no role in parenting, men who are total momma’s boys – you’re never gonna be good enough in momma’s eyes… Premarital sex – you’re okay with it, he says he’s okay with it, then he sends you on a guilt trip for tempting him so much… of course, it's hard to find a place to even have sex, since chances are, he still lives at home, because you know, that's normal until he starts his own family, and even then, the in-laws may still live with you! Household roles again – you like to cook, but it’s not solely YOUR job, same with cleaning and raising of the babies… Speaking of babies – aren't you a little old to not be married and have children? And well marriage – just because you’ve been nice to a man, he goes straight to the marriage line of thought, because why else would a woman be nice to a man? She MUST want him. She MUST love him. Slow ya roll bro… we’ve only chatted on Couchsurfing/met once, stop acting like we are fated to be together.

5 – Hostel Life. 

Nothing says business time like pink bunkbeds! ;-)

You’ve grown to not care that you’re sleeping in the same room as 7 dudes on a regular basis. When it starts to smell you just open a window, and you’ve seen more man panties than you’ve ever wanted to, but it’s the norm now. Whatever. However, when you do meet someone, you can’t take them back to yours - there are 7 other dudes in there! What’s worse? When he’s a traveler too… because he can’t take you back to his either. Some people don’t mind bunkbed sex, but if you’re sticking around a bit longer than a few days, that could lead to some awkward encounters in the common room… Sometimes you get lucky and meet the person you’re attracted to at your hostel, which is great – you’re both already home – but where can you go to fool around? Try that hallway, or that dark corner – nope not as dark as you thought, uhhh… see if someone’s room is empty or if one of you have a bed hidden away enough so if you’re really quiet… nope – beds are in the open and the rooms are full of people shit… uhhh… elevator? No… people are gonna want to use that… bathroom! YEAH! BATHROOM! How romantic?! While sneaking around can be a ton of fun, it gets really frustrating if you’ve somehow started developing feelings for each other in such a short period of time, and literally just want to BE together. Just the 2 of you. What options do you really have? Try to find a last minute hotel room and both of you end up paying for 2 places to stay that night? Pay outrageous prices to get upgraded to a private room at your hostel, if one is even available? Maybe you’ll get lucky and the person working the front desk can put the 2 of you into a room that’s not occupied for some reason (beware of that one… there’s probably a reason no one’s been placed in that room yet ie. bedbugs). Sometimes it’s totally worth it, but still frustrating, and you waste more time trying to figure out how to be alone together, than you actually get to enjoy spending alone together.

4 – It’s Over Before It Even Had A Chance.

A magical view, made even more special because of the company kept...

Being a traveler implies just that – Travel. You never intend to stay in one place long enough to actually have a proper relationship. While you’ve gotten used to just enjoying life and being happy when you can, the person who will inevitably be left behind may not be able to bring themselves to live by the same mantra. They see this as going nowhere from the start, while you see it as potential for an incredibly happy time period full of amazing memories with someone who you will always hold dear, in a place that now seems magical. You’ve grown to see the beauty in something short term and intense… they, on the other hand, are actually looking for something more long term. Or, they don’t want something serious or long term at all when it starts, but the more time they spend around you, they can’t deny how awesome you are, and can’t keep it casual. You tell them when you meet that you’re here for a few weeks, or even a few months, and once what they thought would just be casual fun starts to turn into something more – they run. They shut it down. Why? Because they’ve foreseen that this isn’t going to work. They know they can’t convince you to stay, and they don’t want to be the one hurt at the end of everything.

3 – One Of You Catches Feelings.

Forever a reminder of the night I met my hardest goodbye. (cue bittersweet smile)

You’re gonna feel like a jerk if it’s not you. Occasionally, realizing that someone may be getting attached will open you up to having serious feelings as well, which creates another mess on its own. Sometimes, you’re the one who catches the feelings, and it’s wonderful, then suddenly terrible when you realize that only 1 of you caught them. If both parties aren’t on board the feeling train, someone is going to get hurt, no matter what. This is where we learn that open, honest, communication is absolutely necessary at all times, even if it feels awkward or out of place. We learn that we need to talk about these things, so everyone is on the same page.

2 – The Sad Goodbye.

Even if you both knew that it could only be a short term fling, and you don’t regret a second of it, and every minute you spent together was perfect and beautiful – at some point, somewhere inside, that goodbye is going to be sad. You may not cry, because you see the beauty in the whole thing, but damn, you’re gonna miss him. You’re gonna walk by all the places where you stopped for a kiss and smile, and hope that you can find someone like that again. Should you have developed feelings (even if you’re the only party to do so)… well… I’m so sorry… that goodbye is going to be more messy than you ever imagined. I’m talking ugly crying in public. A people stopping to ask if you’re okay – level of ugly crying. Be prepared. Bring tissues, or risk covering your favorite shirt in tears and snot and mascara.

At least we'll always have each other <3

1 – It’s All About Me!

I am NOT going to date anyone – you fully intend for this trip/country/city/leg of your adventure to be all about you. To get your thoughts together. To get your life on track. To experience things for YOU. Then SHIT – who is this striking up a conversation with me? It would be rude if I didn’t try to enjoy the conversation… And all of that goes out the window in favor of just being happy. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes the goodbye is bittersweet and beautiful, sometimes you end up more hurt than you’ve ever been, and your life is in more of a mess than it was before you left. Your intentions were good. Kudos to you for not actively looking for someone to spend time/fool around with. And bravo for being open to the opportunity to love and be happy. Don’t regret it. Don’t regret any of it. You can have your alone time some other time. This experience is helping you to grow, and to realize what it is you want in life.

I’m sure I’ll meet people who have had more struggles for me to add to this list, and there are certainly far more struggles in store for me in the future. But, with every experience comes a bit more wisdom, or at least another story to tell...

9 Months Later...

A lot can happen in 9 months... we all know that a new life can be brought into this world in just 9 months, and how much that little life grows and changes the lives of those around it in 9 months, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to recap some of the most important things that I've learned in 9 months on the run...

Churchkhela, aka Georgian Snickers

9 - Sugar and spice and everything nice is bullshit.

You know how we, as girls, always are taught to be nice? That's bullshit. Stop being nice. You just need to say no. A good stern no will do you wonders. You don't have to deal with people bothering you to buy things or go places. You especially don't have to put up with sexual harassment. Stop trying to be subtle to get men to stop bothering you. Just tell them no. Most often, their pride will be so hurt that they just walk away with their tail tucked between their legs. Making up a boyfriend or husband that you're on your way to see won't work. (Believe me, I've tried.) Just honestly telling the guy that you have to go, because you're meeting friends won't work either. Just tell them no, you don't want to talk. If they touch you - make a fucking scene. If another foreigner sees this scene, and can tell that you are also a foreigner, guess what? They WILL intervene. Hopefully it wouldn't get to that point though. Again, the whole pride thing... if you start yelling in a language that they don't understand, or even in their native tongue, they will often be so embarrassed that they'll walk away and hope no one noticed. This works back home as well - girls, you know how we always watch out for each other and "save" each other from creepers when we're at the club? There's no reason we should have to swoop in and rescue each other. Just give the creeper a good stern no. How will he learn otherwise? I've begun to rant... anyway, the moral of the story is to just say no.

Prague wouldn't have been so hard to leave if not for these fantastic strangers

8 - "I've always depended on the kindness of strangers." 

Blanche DuBois (A Streetcar Named Desire for you non theatre nerds) wasn't entirely naive, or crazy. When you get to traveling, especially alone, you start to realize that the world isn't entirely made up of terrible, evil, people who are out to hurt you. Here's my most recent example - When I got on the bus from the airport in Tbilisi, it was 7am. I had been at the airport since 4am. I had been traveling for a good 12 hours at that point. I was dazed, and travel tired. I didn't even have a low enough denomination of lari to pay for the bus ride. I could barely even speak Russian at that point. Out of nowhere, someone pays the 50 tetri (half of 1 lari, $.21) for my bus ride, helps me settle in with my bags at the back of the bus and asks where I need to get off, so he can help me. He could have just told me where my stop is. Nope. He went above and beyond that. While I was worried he meant that he was going to help me carry my bags all the way to my hostel (which seemed like a terrible idea), he just helped me get my bags off the bus, and wished me well. He got off the bus long before his stop just to help. Did it make my day? You bet. Did it make his day? I think so, judging by the smile he had on his face the whole time. Should you still be a little wary of strangers? Yes. Should you use your best judgement, and also accept their generous help? Heck yes! Remember how when we were little, we were always taught not to talk to strangers? That goes out the window when you grow up, especially when you travel extensively. Every friend, every partner in crime, every lover, every adventure buddy, every love - was once a stranger. Strangers can make life so much better, if you let them.

Oh Istanbul... Who wouldn't love this place? This country? It's simply magical...

7 - You're more brave than you think.

On the night that I left him, someone dear to me told me that he thought I was brave for what I've been doing. I laughed it off, because to me, this isn't brave. Brave would be staying in one place, getting a steady job, and facing my responsibilities. Running is cowardice. Yet, the thought of staying in one place for more than 3 months terrifies me. That's because this life has changed me. You're especially more brave if you grow to love similar places to those that I have. You know how often I've had people message me, out of nowhere, worried about me because of something they saw on the news? More times than I'd like to count. Does that scare me? No. There was terrorist activity while I was in Bishkek, did I ever feel in danger? No. There was a terrorist attack in Istanbul just before I went back there - concerned? No. The attacks in Ankara, the rioting on the streets in Istanbul, the tension filled elections, the situation between Russia and Turkey while I lived behind the Russian consulate - fear? No. It's exciting, and painful at the same time. I booked my flight to Paris shortly before the terror attacks in Paris, my family freaked out - my reaction - Why aren't more people concerned about what happened in Ankara? Where are all the Turkish flags on peoples profiles? WHY ARE YOU NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE REST OF THE WORLD!? - And yes, I judged every single person on my feed who had a French flag over their profile picture, with the exception of my friends who have significant ties to France (aka, those living or who have lived there). My reaction to the terror attack in Istanbul? - Why am I not there to be with the people I love, in the city I love, when such a thing has happened? - When you begin to love another culture this strongly, you care less about your well being and more for your desire to be back where you feel such a strong connection. I've been thinking this latest exile is a great opportunity for me to travel Turkey by land - am I afraid to go to Ankara? To Gaziantep? To Izmir? No. I want to experience that beautiful country while I have the opportunity. Is this carelessness? Recklessness? Perhaps. Love? Bravery? Certainly.

Did you really think I sat alone and had 2 litres of beer at Hoffbrauhaus? 

6 - Push yourself out of your comfort zone.

This doesn't just go for the countries that you travel to, it goes for your actions in each of them. Most people don't think I'm shy, or reserved, or conservative, but SURPRISE! I am. So, when it comes to either asking someone if they would like to grab dinner with me, or going alone - I'd usually chose to go alone. When the opportunity arises - push yourself to ask someone to do something, or ask if you can tag along. What's the worst that could happen? You feel unwelcome around the people that you went with? Who's fault is that? Chances are - not yours. Sometimes, just asking someone who's sitting alone at a table if you can join them, leads to you making a new friend, a ridiculous adventure, or at least having great company for the night. You know what it doesn't lead to? Regrets.

Shenanigans captured in the moment, to remember, forever.

5 - Take selfies shamelessly. 

Take photos of yourself, and whether they like it or not, take them with your friends. Take them often. Take them when you look your worst. When you look your best. Take them when you're goofing around - when you're serious - just take them. So what if you never post them to social media? Or if you do, who cares if people are seeing too much of your beautiful face? You don't want to find yourself wishing one day that you could see the faces of your friends together with your own just one more time. Whether you look glamorous or frumpy - you'll want to see yourselves together. You may not realize it when you should be taking them, but you'll want to look back at those times one day, especially when you're happy. Look back. Remember the love. Smile.

Just maybe only say yes to absinthe once... per night...

4 - Just say yes.

Sometimes you'll feel like curling up with some Netflix, or a book, and not want to talk to anyone. You'll be in such a foul mood that just hearing other people talk will make you want to punch things, or you'll be so sad that all you want to do is cry... but if someone invites you somewhere, just say yes. That concert, or party, or dinner that the stranger at your hostel invited you out to, can lead to a new friendship. They could be going through the same thing you are, or already have gone through it, and have some insight to help you. Or, you could just have a blast. Say yes. More often than not, saying yes has led to wonderful things.

Beer with a sunset view... alone. Perfection.

3 - Treat yo'self.

Learning how to date yourself is one of the best things you'll ever do. It doesn't matter if you're travelling alone, living alone, or just trying to grow the f up. If you can't enjoy being with yourself, dating yourself, how can you expect someone else to do it? Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good, a manicure, a massage, a nice dinner, an art show, whatever. Every now and then, take yourself out on a date. You'll feel better about yourself. You'll feel more comfortable with yourself. And you know what? Other people will be drawn to that. So many men can't believe it when I tell them I went to the movies alone, or took myself to a romantic restaurant alone. They're intrigued, and yes, a little intimidated, but more fascinated with a woman who can love herself enough not to wait for a man to take her out on such dates. But that's not the most important aspect of this - the most important part is that you realize these things - that you are comfortable with yourself. You aren't afraid to take matters into your own hands, and to do things on your own. You'll be more proud of yourself than anyone else could be.

How many people have learned how to build a yurt?

2 - Your experiences are anything but ordinary. 

With extensive travel comes comfort in the most uncomfortable of situations. Comfort leads to a sense of the mundane... Remember, what you have seen and done is extraordinary. Most people you meet in your life will not ever go to the same places you have, see the same things, meet the same array of people. Chances are, they'll never leave their comfort zone. Your experiences are not ordinary. You'll also meet people who are far more traveled than you, and who you think are far more cultured than you, or have had a much more interesting journey than you, and that may incite some jealousy. I'm guilty of it. Some of my best friends, and partners in crime in my travels, make me so jealous of them to the point of getting upset with them, but I need to remember that their travels are not my travels. We all have had different experiences. None of our travels are better than the other's. They are each unique.

Talk to a stranger. Say yes. Leave comfort zone. Love. Just love.

1 - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

The wise words of Nat King Cole's "Nature Boy"... It doesn't matter if it's the love of friends, a new host family, or romantic love - just love. Believe that you are worthy of being loved, and always keep yourself open to love. It comes at unexpected times, in unexpected places, but you won't experience that joy if you aren't open to it. You may have your heart broken several times, but when someone comes into your life who realizes how amazing you are, you'll be so happy not to have missed out because you kept yourself guarded. Love without reservation - without hesitation. Love like you've never been hurt. Love like there's no tomorrow. Love like it will last forever. Love because it's the only thing that can heal this world we live in. Love because a life without it isn't worth living. Love because with each heartbreak, you're one step closer to finding someone who will appreciate how quickly, and freely, you love.

Perhaps the best view of Istanbul that you can get - from the top of Galata tower at sunset. Again... simply magical.

So... There you have it, 9 months later... I've learned a lot. I've experienced so much more growth than I would have if I had stayed in the US. I still have a lot to learn. I still have a lot of heartache to go through. But I also still have a lot of strangers to meet, people and cultures to open my heart to, adventures to have, and memories to make. Here's to the most challenging, and wonder filled 9 months of my life. And here's to many, many more.

A hidden little gem of a waterfall in the old town of Tbilisi

Homesick

So... I'm pretty sure my lost Bishkek Day 4 musings involved cooking class (don't worry - I'll be posting photos and recipes), and a whole lot about homesickness...

Cheap, tasty, sushi... could we get more basic?

It's a funny thing, homesickness... They say that you stop being homesick for a place you've traveled once you've been back in your normal life for just as long as you were gone. That's a lie. A bunch of crap. I was missing Batumi for far longer than 2 months once I returned to Tallahassee. In fact, even 2 weeks into my time in Bishkek, I was writing to my host sister from Batumi, and one of my teachers, telling them both that I miss them and wished I had participated in a different program and gone back there instead. I know things will be different when I go back there. I won't have my friends with me, and who knows how much the city itself will have changed, but I'm still excited to see my host family again soon.

Cheap tasty margis? Yes please!

When I left Bishkek for Istanbul, I was incredibly excited to go back to a city that I felt I still needed to explore, and though I was scared to travel alone, I was excited about it too. For months though, all of my stories involved Bishkek. One of the friends I made at my hostel in Istanbul even noted that I was living in the past. None of my stories at that point in time were about the city I was living in then. I never would have expected to get homesick for Bishkek, but I suppose I did. That family I had trouble getting used to, that little twerp who forced his way into my heart, the food, the dust, the overall rachet-ness of living in a 2nd world country... I missed it. I still miss it.

Then Istanbul, regardless all of the frustrations I had living there, and the relatively few friends I made there, found its way into my heart. For over a month, I literally was counting down the days until I could return. All I could talk about while traveling in France, Belgium, and Germany, was my time in Istanbul. Hearing Turkish spoken on the streets of Germany made me feel more comfortable. When I felt lonely, I'd go to a Turkish restaurant to have some comfort food, and practice my Turkish...

Tvorog and Borjomi - odd comfort foods

Then I got to Prague... I can't believe how quickly I fell in love with the city. Czech food is fantastic, the beer is good, and cheap, and the architecture... you can walk around the city for days and just stare at it... Despite all of the bad things that happened while I was there, some wonderful things happened. I met some truly amazing people. Those people are why I miss Prague so dearly. I spent 7 weeks there, and made more friends worth keeping in my last 3 weeks than I did in 3 months of living in Istanbul. I'm sure in a few weeks, I won't be missing Prague anymore... at least not nearly as strongly as I miss it right now... I've never ugly cried when leaving a city or a person before. I've made some big moves in my life, and said a lot of good-byes, but this is the first time I've ever cried like that... someone even told me that there's a sadness in my eyes when I speak of Prague... I just want to be sure that I miss it for the right reasons... and if I go back, that it will only be for the right reasons as well...

Tbilisi so far is also full of kind people who will make it hard to leave. The people who work at my hostel are incredibly kind. Some invited me out on my 1st night, which helped to start forgetting Prague... especially because I was in the middle of a fight with someone I left behind... I've been sick the past few days though, so I haven't been able to meet very many people yet. Even being sick, the hostel staff keep checking to see if I'm feeling any better, and our cleaning lady is like our own Georgian mom. She heard me coughing and sleeping at 7pm the other night and handed me a thermometer and come cold medicine, then said if I have a fever she's going to take me to the doctor. That's Georgian hospitality for you. She barely knows me, didn't know I could speak Russian until I thanked her in Russian, and she just wants to make sure I'm healthy and enjoying her city. I've only taken one relatively short walk around the city because of this cold, but there's a familiar rachet-ness to it. The smell of shashlik on the grill, the sounds, the mess of traffic that you can only cross with luck and the grace of God... the wine, the limonad, the fresh baked bread everywhere. I know I'll miss Georgia when I leave here again... at least when I leave here, it will be because I've found another place I want to go, rather than visa limitations forcing me into a sort of exile.

Burger House - a hangover tradition... also the best burger I've had in a while!

Cures and triggers for homesickness are pretty varied, and unfortunately, unpredictable. As soon as I got back to the US from Georgia, I went to a Georgian restaurant in NYC to show my friends some of the wonderful food I'd been spoiled with for the summer. Then I took to cooking the meal my host mom taught me how to make on a very regular basis, just to bring a little bit of Georgia into my life. In Bishkek, I was comforted by purchasing the same shampoo I used in Batumi. That familiar smell in my hair helped calm my nerves every night before bed. I managed to find Borjomi, Georgian mineral water, which I wasn't a big fan of while I lived in Batumi, but which brought great comfort to me when I'd have an upset stomach. A good burger, from Burger House - which is better than most burgers I've ever had - was always our hangover cure, and the best way we could think to celebrate Independence day. Once I got wifi, I was able to watch all of my favorite terrible TV shows, which was bad for my productivity levels, but good for making me feel more at home. The day we found cheap margaritas and tasty sushi in Bishkek, was like a sigh of relief. As long as we had those two items, we could survive, right?

Proper Southern BBQ in Prague... entirely too comforting...

It's the little things that can bring you the most comfort... In Istanbul, I lived off of plov, eggplant stew and eggplant sandwiches for the most part - all meals I learned from my host moms. Here in Tbilisi, I've been making tvorog for breakfast - one of my favorite discoveries while in Bishkek. Not because I'm missing Bishkek, but because I've got yet another cold. Having something that made me happy there, helps me feel a little better here. In Prague, it was some good ole Southern BBQ and American accents at Expat's BBQ that gave me the most comfort when everything had gone wrong in so many ways. Even though I showed up alone, I never had to feel alone there. I didn't have to feel quite so far away from the people I love when I needed to be with them most. It's those little tastes of home that can help get you through the worst setbacks on the road. Another big help - having a good mobile carrier. You won't believe what I'm about to say, but truly, for an American traveler, T-Mobile is the best. Why? Because it's cheap, you don't need a contract, and in most countries you'd want to go to, international data and texts are included, making the people you miss most no more than a text message away.

Notice any omissions from the list of places I've been homesick for? Probably the one that most people would miss first... home. I may miss my friends on occasion, and my Goddaughter immensely, but home? Nope. Again... I don't have a home. Home is where my bags are, so right now, my home is Tbilisi. As much as I'd like to go back to Prague... I know that it won't be the same if I go back... It could be better... It could be worse... We'll see if I get drawn back there... right now, I'm having a hard time believing that I can't see some of my friends again for a minimum of 3 months. My exile from Turkey ended on the 8th... perhaps I'll end up back there, or perhaps I'll head on to the next adventure. While in Germany I was asked "What are you running away from?" I don't feel like I'm running away anymore. I'm just waiting to find something to run towards.

Bet you never thought I'd miss this twerp! Neither did I... :-/ <3