Homesick

So... I'm pretty sure my lost Bishkek Day 4 musings involved cooking class (don't worry - I'll be posting photos and recipes), and a whole lot about homesickness...

Cheap, tasty, sushi... could we get more basic?

It's a funny thing, homesickness... They say that you stop being homesick for a place you've traveled once you've been back in your normal life for just as long as you were gone. That's a lie. A bunch of crap. I was missing Batumi for far longer than 2 months once I returned to Tallahassee. In fact, even 2 weeks into my time in Bishkek, I was writing to my host sister from Batumi, and one of my teachers, telling them both that I miss them and wished I had participated in a different program and gone back there instead. I know things will be different when I go back there. I won't have my friends with me, and who knows how much the city itself will have changed, but I'm still excited to see my host family again soon.

Cheap tasty margis? Yes please!

When I left Bishkek for Istanbul, I was incredibly excited to go back to a city that I felt I still needed to explore, and though I was scared to travel alone, I was excited about it too. For months though, all of my stories involved Bishkek. One of the friends I made at my hostel in Istanbul even noted that I was living in the past. None of my stories at that point in time were about the city I was living in then. I never would have expected to get homesick for Bishkek, but I suppose I did. That family I had trouble getting used to, that little twerp who forced his way into my heart, the food, the dust, the overall rachet-ness of living in a 2nd world country... I missed it. I still miss it.

Then Istanbul, regardless all of the frustrations I had living there, and the relatively few friends I made there, found its way into my heart. For over a month, I literally was counting down the days until I could return. All I could talk about while traveling in France, Belgium, and Germany, was my time in Istanbul. Hearing Turkish spoken on the streets of Germany made me feel more comfortable. When I felt lonely, I'd go to a Turkish restaurant to have some comfort food, and practice my Turkish...

Tvorog and Borjomi - odd comfort foods

Then I got to Prague... I can't believe how quickly I fell in love with the city. Czech food is fantastic, the beer is good, and cheap, and the architecture... you can walk around the city for days and just stare at it... Despite all of the bad things that happened while I was there, some wonderful things happened. I met some truly amazing people. Those people are why I miss Prague so dearly. I spent 7 weeks there, and made more friends worth keeping in my last 3 weeks than I did in 3 months of living in Istanbul. I'm sure in a few weeks, I won't be missing Prague anymore... at least not nearly as strongly as I miss it right now... I've never ugly cried when leaving a city or a person before. I've made some big moves in my life, and said a lot of good-byes, but this is the first time I've ever cried like that... someone even told me that there's a sadness in my eyes when I speak of Prague... I just want to be sure that I miss it for the right reasons... and if I go back, that it will only be for the right reasons as well...

Tbilisi so far is also full of kind people who will make it hard to leave. The people who work at my hostel are incredibly kind. Some invited me out on my 1st night, which helped to start forgetting Prague... especially because I was in the middle of a fight with someone I left behind... I've been sick the past few days though, so I haven't been able to meet very many people yet. Even being sick, the hostel staff keep checking to see if I'm feeling any better, and our cleaning lady is like our own Georgian mom. She heard me coughing and sleeping at 7pm the other night and handed me a thermometer and come cold medicine, then said if I have a fever she's going to take me to the doctor. That's Georgian hospitality for you. She barely knows me, didn't know I could speak Russian until I thanked her in Russian, and she just wants to make sure I'm healthy and enjoying her city. I've only taken one relatively short walk around the city because of this cold, but there's a familiar rachet-ness to it. The smell of shashlik on the grill, the sounds, the mess of traffic that you can only cross with luck and the grace of God... the wine, the limonad, the fresh baked bread everywhere. I know I'll miss Georgia when I leave here again... at least when I leave here, it will be because I've found another place I want to go, rather than visa limitations forcing me into a sort of exile.

Burger House - a hangover tradition... also the best burger I've had in a while!

Cures and triggers for homesickness are pretty varied, and unfortunately, unpredictable. As soon as I got back to the US from Georgia, I went to a Georgian restaurant in NYC to show my friends some of the wonderful food I'd been spoiled with for the summer. Then I took to cooking the meal my host mom taught me how to make on a very regular basis, just to bring a little bit of Georgia into my life. In Bishkek, I was comforted by purchasing the same shampoo I used in Batumi. That familiar smell in my hair helped calm my nerves every night before bed. I managed to find Borjomi, Georgian mineral water, which I wasn't a big fan of while I lived in Batumi, but which brought great comfort to me when I'd have an upset stomach. A good burger, from Burger House - which is better than most burgers I've ever had - was always our hangover cure, and the best way we could think to celebrate Independence day. Once I got wifi, I was able to watch all of my favorite terrible TV shows, which was bad for my productivity levels, but good for making me feel more at home. The day we found cheap margaritas and tasty sushi in Bishkek, was like a sigh of relief. As long as we had those two items, we could survive, right?

Proper Southern BBQ in Prague... entirely too comforting...

It's the little things that can bring you the most comfort... In Istanbul, I lived off of plov, eggplant stew and eggplant sandwiches for the most part - all meals I learned from my host moms. Here in Tbilisi, I've been making tvorog for breakfast - one of my favorite discoveries while in Bishkek. Not because I'm missing Bishkek, but because I've got yet another cold. Having something that made me happy there, helps me feel a little better here. In Prague, it was some good ole Southern BBQ and American accents at Expat's BBQ that gave me the most comfort when everything had gone wrong in so many ways. Even though I showed up alone, I never had to feel alone there. I didn't have to feel quite so far away from the people I love when I needed to be with them most. It's those little tastes of home that can help get you through the worst setbacks on the road. Another big help - having a good mobile carrier. You won't believe what I'm about to say, but truly, for an American traveler, T-Mobile is the best. Why? Because it's cheap, you don't need a contract, and in most countries you'd want to go to, international data and texts are included, making the people you miss most no more than a text message away.

Notice any omissions from the list of places I've been homesick for? Probably the one that most people would miss first... home. I may miss my friends on occasion, and my Goddaughter immensely, but home? Nope. Again... I don't have a home. Home is where my bags are, so right now, my home is Tbilisi. As much as I'd like to go back to Prague... I know that it won't be the same if I go back... It could be better... It could be worse... We'll see if I get drawn back there... right now, I'm having a hard time believing that I can't see some of my friends again for a minimum of 3 months. My exile from Turkey ended on the 8th... perhaps I'll end up back there, or perhaps I'll head on to the next adventure. While in Germany I was asked "What are you running away from?" I don't feel like I'm running away anymore. I'm just waiting to find something to run towards.

Bet you never thought I'd miss this twerp! Neither did I... :-/ <3