Bishkek - Day 3

Okay... I'm sorry for slacking on getting a new post ready after replacing my computer... things have been incredibly rough for me since that happened, for various reasons... when it rains it pours, right? Anyway, there was a lot more data on my stolen computer that hadn't been backed up than I thought... including Bishkek Day 4, a lot of my edited photos, and all of my audio files which contained so many important and nostalgic sounds I wanted to share with you, to help you really get a glimpse of this crazy life I've been living. Regrets. I have them. But, that leads to more lessons I can pass on to you so you hopefully won't suffer through the same losses and frustration that I have had to deal with on these adventures. Always lock your shit up. Always. So, here's my last stream of consciousness post for my time in Bishkek...

Bishkek Day 3: June 23, 2015

Here goes showing y’all how much of an emotional roller coaster something like this is. Today wasn’t bad at all. Today was, dare I say, comfortable-ish? Now I just have to keep from crying myself to sleep tonight, and I’ll be progressing a lot faster than I thought I would have a few days ago. At least y’all are benefiting from my lack of internet at home, because I’ve been spending a good hour or two at the end of the night to recap the day for you. Or maybe you don’t like the longer posts and wish I’d just cut to the interesting stuff, well tuff. That’s another thing about living so far away from the city, I can’t stay out with my friends until 11pm every night, get distracted by a certain someone and then pass out before taking the time to write. The longer I go without internet and have limited opportunity to connect with anyone, the more I start thinking that maybe what I really need is to persevere and grow on my own, like I do with everything else. I just wish I had remembered to download new music before I left… there are way too many songs on my computer that stir up stupid emotions in my tiny broken Slavic heart. Yea, I know last year I was writing about a broken heart too, and just like that one, there are a lot of factors contributing to it. I don’t know how you people do this crap. I’ll adjust to Bishkek and eventually start liking it here a whole lot faster than I can get over being so stupid as to open this tiny Slavic heart to someone who never deserved it. In Russian – моё сердце разбыто – quite literally, shattered. Yeah, we don’t do subtle in this language. Он разбыл моё сердце и я ненавижу его из-за этого...

So… back to the comfortable-ish… well… thank God my neighbor has taken me on like a niece, because I didn’t pay attention to what today’s schedule was supposed to be, and I was prepared to get to school at 9am… classes start at 8:30am this year… oops… good thing Racha, the girl placed next door, pays attention and told her host family the proper time, so needless to say, I hauled ass out of the house without eating breakfast, putting on makeup, or even brushing my hair. My neighbor drove us to school this morning, which was really nice of him to do. I was placed in the 4^th year course, as expected, and I really like my classmates so far. We’re having a good time in class, and getting to know each other too. We’ve got two 50min grammar classes followed by a 65min reading class (really thinking that teacher doesn’t like me & Masha though), and then finally a 50min speaking portion, which was surprisingly fun. At 1pm we were free to go for the day.

Delicious eggplant salad... I can hardly believe I used to hate it!

Masha and I clarified what our schedule would be for Wednesday, and asked about the password to the website for our homework, then headed down the street to the Vefa center for lunch (It’s a small mall). The password wasn’t sent out yet as of 8pm, not that it would matter for me, since I still don’t have wifi at home… this will be my number 1 complaint about the program this year. If you’re going to have online homework, you need to make sure that host families are equipped with wifi, especially when we live so far away from the city. I can’t stay at school or at a local café until 8pm just to do homework if there’s a lot. I actually don’t have to be at school until 2pm tomorrow, but I’m gonna get there at 9:30am so I can do the homework that’s due Thursday, or at least get it started. I also plan to buy a wifi router tomorrow as well. Yep… that’s about a $100 expense that I wasn’t expecting. I know my host family is fine with me using their computer, but I don’t want to hog it, when that’s the primary source of entertainment for the kids in the evening and when it’s raining, like it was today.

We drink beer from crazy straws, because we're ladies.

Aaaanyway… For lunch we tried eggplant salad because it reminded me of one of my favorite Georgian dishes when I looked at the picture, and Lagmancun because that looked good too. We split those and ordered 2 beers… guess how much it cost? Go on, guess… I’ll wait…

About $7.40… our fancy coffees afterwards cost about the same too.

So, around 4:30ish, I headed back to the school to see if Racha was ready to head home, because she said her host dad would pick us up from school. Minor miscommunication, and my host mom (or well I feel like I should start calling her my hostess, because she’s actually closer in age to me than any of my actual sisters are) came to get us. She took us to look into the whole router situation and help us decide what we need, but turns out they need the original of my passport for it. She put our address in my phone in case I ever need to take a taxi, and tried to teach me what stop is ours on the Marshrutka. (It’s the name of the school that’s nearby, or apparently I can just say остановите в школу and that should work too. Guess I’ll find out tomorrow!) Then I just tried to study some of the new vocab before dinner.

Lagmancun... yes it's Turkish and not Kyrgyz... who cares?

Tonight dinner was reminiscent of some of the food I had in Georgia, simple pan fried potatoes with meat, sliced tomatoes, bread and of course tea (like 3 bowls). I’ve been a bit intimidated by the bread, because we were told that it’s pretty much sacred around here, so if you start eating a piece, you should really finish it, and if you waste it, it’s an insult. Also, it turns out that Mash also has a traditional Kyrgyz family, they just haven’t started cooking and eating in the outdoor area yet. She called me today to tell me that they tried to get her to drink some mare’s milk, but she couldn’t do it because of the smell lol… I’m sure y’all can’t wait until I start writing about that! It’s already getting easier for me to hold conversations in Russian, and my hostess and I are doing some more bonding too. We’ve made plans to take a walk around the neighborhood tomorrow after dinner.

The cultural aspect of the importance of family around here has already been brought up. That was important in Georgia too. Week 1, my host mom exclaimed that I was so old to not be married, which made me feel kinda terrible, but by the end of the program, she was offering to take me on walks down the Boulevard to find me a man, because OBVIOUSLY American men are idiots. Little by little my family and neighbors have pried into what my family life is like. 1^st night was asking how many siblings I have etc, last night they got to asking me if I was married or had a boyfriend, and tonight asking if it was normal to get married so late in America. I thought about making up a boyfriend, or trying to explain part of my broken heart to her, but instead chose to portray everything as normal, because it is normal for me. I don’t know why I don’t have a boyfriend, and I never thought I’d be my age and still be single, but that’s the hand I’ve been dealt, and in America it’s not completely terrible to have that hand either.

An array of Kyrgyz Som... believe me, it's not that much...

When it started to rain after dinner, we went inside and continued to chat and she asked me to teach her daughter a little English. I know I’m not supposed to, but I guess I really did enjoy teaching Russian… teaching English to some 8-9 year old Kyrgyz girls was quite a change for me… and maybe some good preparation/experience for the near future. I need to work on my vocabulary though if I want to explain things better. At least they just about had the alphabet down after an hour. I don’t like the book we were using though. I’ve noticed around here that people want to practice their English on you more than in Batumi. My host mom there rarely ever spoke in English, my sister who was fluent in English never spoke to me in it, my host brother tried to teach me Georgian (because I don’t think he spoke Russian) and my poor wee little sister rarely talked to me because she didn’t know a lot of English and even less Russian. Only once did I have someone who could speak Russian refuse to speak to me in Russian, and I am completely sympathetic as to why. He spoke to me in English, I spoke to him in Russian. Georgia has undergone its own cultural renaissance. I guess most former Soviet Republics have, but of the 2 I’ve spent an extended period of time in, Georgian patriotism/nationalism seems much stronger. They want to move towards the west, but are determined to keep their traditions and language, and that to an extent means keeping Russian around too. School children there learn English whether they go to Georgian school or Russian school. Maybe because you still have to go out of your way to learn English around here that people want to practice it more? I don’t mind all that much. I’m at a level where I don’t think it will make such a drastic difference to only be exposed to Russian. What I need is to work on including more Russian in conversations with my friends so I can have a good conversation about things that are more substantial than what I am used to talking about.

I’m thinking it’s time for me to pass out. I meant to be ready for bed by midnight so waking up at 7 wouldn’t suck… its almost 1, whoops… at least this means less time to be reminded of things before I fall asleep, and hopefully that will mean no crying tonight… that’ll be nice… 

End Day 3.

There was a much longer rant on language acquisition, but I decided to omit most of it to avoid boring the crap out of you, but there you go... the last of my stream of consciousness posts, because I'm an idiot... but here are some spoilers:

I didn't cry again my whole time in Bishkek. I persevered and grew on my own, as I always do, as I always will. I did adjust, and got comfortable in Bishkek before that broken heart healed. I have my closure now, and I can't believe I ever acted the way I did. I can't believe I ever let myself feel so hurt over something so stupid. Classes, and my classmates started to drive me crazy by the end of the 1st week, so much that I was ready to go home if something didn't change. Another thing about growing up - I learned to tell someone in charge that I wasn't satisfied with things, those things were changed, and I started enjoying class again, well except for the classmates driving me crazy part... the only thing that could remedy that would have been less time around them, which I could not get. I gave up trying to teach those adorable little girls because the book/English language just frustrated the crap out of me. Also, reading through this again, I realize I still haven't learned my lesson about opening my heart up to people who don't deserve it. I'm not so sure that's a bad thing either. Is it better to suffer the pain of heartbreak from putting yourself out on the line, or to keep yourself reserved and possibly miss out on something wonderful? Only time will tell.