The Roaming Nole: Even If It Breaks Your Heart

I lied about not being able to break chronological order for my posts. Friday was too big to wait until I'm caught up. I've been working on it since then too, so be prepared, this is a long one...

Пятница была тяжёлый день, но также с радостью. Она была день победы, и почти каждый русский человек гуляли с тяжелым но счастливым сердце. Я тоже гуляла с тяжёлым сердце, но моё сердце разбито из-за немного веш.

Alright, I'll translate that for you. Friday was a heavy day, but also with joy. It was victory day and almost every Russian walked with a heavy, but joyful heart. I also walked with a heavy heart, but my heart is broken because of a few things.

Vibrant tulips provide a happy contrast to such a grim monument.

Victory Day is huge here. Bigger than any patriotic celebration I've seen in the states. The day started out at Victory Park for me, because our teachers wanted us to be as safe as possible, yet still experience festivities by avoiding the crowds at Red Square. There apparently was a screen up for people to watch the parade, but my group took our time to enjoy the monuments and missed it.

The monuments. Holy crap. Monolithic and moving are the only words I can think of to describe them. Maybe it was the environment, maybe it was because I've been focusing on WWII so much in my studies, or maybe it's because I had 2 grandfathers fight in the "Great Patriotic War" (as it's called here), but I couldn't help but feel so small, insignificant, humbled, solemn, and grateful. I was physically moved by them, had I not been with a group, I may have actually shed some tears from the way my heart sank to my stomach as I walked through the park. The weather was absolutely perfect for a day like this at least - sunny and 70. (Yeah, it snowed a few days ago, remember?)

The number of carnations I saw about the city could keep a flower shop in business year round, just to supply for Victory Day. Old traditions remain alive, and could easily bring you to tears. Children are dressed up as little soldiers, girls young and old wear period soldiers' caps and everyone, I mean EVERYONE wears an orange and black stripped ribbon, even we did (since someone was passing them out at the park). Children give flowers to veterans of the war, and veterans also receive complimentary services and discounts through out the city. All military personnel receive thanks and gratitude, and not a single sweet old man looks any less manly for carrying around arms full of flowers as they stroll through the city in their uniform. Every monument related to the war has flowers placed in front of it, and the graves of those who made the ultimate sacrifice do as well.

Kruschev wasn't kidding when he said Russians never forget. It's true, we never do. My professor spent the day with her mother because she still has a hard time on this day. Remembering such times hurts, and that's one myth I can debunk about the Russian people as a whole - we are not hard, cold and unfeeling, though it may seem so. In fact, I really believe that Russians feel emotions so intensely that they reserve the expression of them for those who deserve to see it. More on that topic will come in another post.

The sheer number of people we saw heading to Victory Park after the parade was astounding. I've been to some big concerts and sporting events, and those crowds were nothing compared to this.

The day started out pretty rough for me. I woke up to the news of Dr. Tommie Wright's passing, and my heart goes out to his family. I had the joy of meeting him on several occasions and working with one of his daughters in a musical a few years ago. The sweetest man you'd ever meet, he always made sure to compliment every actor, no matter how small their role was. A Seminole head sticker is hanging in my room between a drawing my god daughter gave me on the day I left and my Victory Day ribbon.

As we left, people as far as the eye can see exited the trains and funneled through the station to the park above.

Rather than go back to the dorm when we left Victory Park, I decided to rally and stay out in the city with some students I didn't know that well. It's just what I needed. I was able to distract myself from my own breaking heart, observe even more of the ways that people celebrated the day, and got to know new people as we walked down Arbat Street, and then to a beautiful glass bridge crossing the Moscow River.

All day people celebrated, tailgate style, in front of Moscow State U.

The mood among the city gradually changed as the day progressed. Rather than solemn remembrance, it turned into joyful celebration. It seemed like the whole city carried itself with pride and kindness.

At about 9:30 pm we went to the front entrance of the university to watch the fireworks show over the Moscow River. Again, the crowd was HUGE. There was music everywhere and everyone was in a good mood, though that may have been from the amount of alcohol people had consumed throughout the day. The show wasn't as good as Disney, but still impressive. Afterwards we went down to the river, where plenty of people were still taking walks, having picnics and just enjoying the weather and celebrating.

Even the next day, people still wore ribbons, and some still had their cars decked out with Victory Day paraphernalia. The city still has all of the monuments and signs up, and government offices are still closed (most of the city completely shuts down on May 9th, you want groceries- good luck finding an open store), there are still flowers on all of the statues in the city, even in the metro. It's truly impressive and awe inspiring how deeply they remember the war and respect the sacrifices their homeland made for the war effort and especially for Victory. All over you can see signs that say "Мир отстояли. Помним. Гордимся. Живём." Which means, "They defended the world. We remember. We are proud. We live." Heavy words for a heavy day.

My lesson from this heavy day: find the beauty in pain. If I had given in to my breaking heart (and sore body) and gone back to the dorm I would have missed out on that beautiful day. I wouldn't have seen how people took that solemn mood and turned it into something happy. I would have missed out on some amazing sights and hilarious incidents. Adjusting to a new environment, new friends, and new dynamics in preexisting relationships is tough. Add to that even the slightest bit of homesickness or sad news from home, as well as any empathy for those in pain around you, and that tough adjustment is even harder. My advice - push through it by trying something different, hang out with a different group than you normally would, go against the popular flow a bit, and take some time for yourself, even if it's just thinking while walking along and sightseeing, or painting your nails, or writing, or just observing your environment. Find the beauty in pain, even if it breaks your heart.